Friday, December 12, 2008

The Monkey faced fiend .....

Shana was sound asleep as the hour hand of the clock struck 12 at night. As usual ,the monkey faced demon appeared in her dreams. For the past 4 weeks ,the fiend harassed her and tortured her in dreams. The Ogre threatened to kill her. It was a month full of nightmares for Shana. The monster resembeled Mojo- Jojo of the powerpuff girls. ”You stupid lady ,”the ghost spoke in her dreams . Shana was afraid and got up. This night she was all alone as her parents and siblings had left for Brussels. She was sweating profusely,she was thirsty. She moved on to the kitchen to fetch some water . As she was moving ,she could hear the pours of the rain , the thunder and the lightening. She felt as if her dreams turned into reality. It was heavily pouring outside her house. She sighted a structure that was following her. The fiend would not let her sleep. ”I will kill you”,the line buzzed her ears everytime. She was weeping all along. The monsters face reminded her of the school excursion . She recollected that night when she was all alone with Roysten. They made merry and they mingled . They slept under the huge Banyan tree. A monkey was keeping track of everything happening. It made sounds and tried to play pranks on them. Roysten got furious and shot the monkey dead. Ever since then,Shana used to get such nightmares of a monkey ribbing her. It was a rainy day ,with the clouds shedding tears. Shana couldn’t inform the police as the fact was unacceptable. It started raining heavily and she was leaning on the chair. The ghost ,tried to scourge her again and again. As she closed her eyes,she felt as if some one was soothing her body,providing her a good massage. She soon got up and ran around the corridors. She heard the same sound,what the monkey made when Roysten shot it. Shana was terrified and ran here and there like crazy ,she called her Paa ,but the phone line was dead. She was in a hurry to get out of the house. The staircase was drenched with the outside rains. She soon slipped from top and perished on the spot. There was no monkey faced monster in real, it was her illusion. The place was drenched with her blood diluted with the rain waters. The monkey died while it was raining,so did Shana.

word count = 383

which one shud i post for the contest ...this one or the previous one...lemme knw guys??


  1. i liked the previous one more... somehow...

  2. flip a coin. Me too in confusion. both are good..

  3. interesting.... yet the previous one was more effective :)
    it could really make one "feel" :)

  4. though this one was good too....but for some reason...loved the previous one better!!!

    Agree with made me feel!!!

  5. hai boy… I was going through your posts… I loved your work… this is really a good skill… really a very good job…

    Well done and keep posting…looking forward to see more interesting and inspiring work…..

  6. there is a plot in there, though the flow could have been much better...keep working at it

  7. Hmmmm...good one..if i had to choose between the two , i would have gone for this :)