Saturday, July 25, 2009

Anger Management Lessons..

Anger is an important key element in life.Likewise Anger can cause troubles and problems in ones life.It leads to relationship problems,enmity between best friends, hatred etc.Thus it is essential to control our anger.We should know how and when to exhibit our anger.There are various reasons which may imbue this anger within people.Researchers are working hard to find out the reasons.People may not know or may be they may not be in their senses when they get angry.For instance,when I get angry it may directly affect my personality and it will be reflected in my behaviour as well.Thus few group of people also know me as 'the angry man'.This should be reduced and hence we should have effective anger management and control over it.Here I come with the anger management lessons.I will give you 10 lessons.Please take care and read it carefully.

Lesson #1
When you hear someone saying something against you, then it is advisable to focus on the reason of the words rather than concentrating on the tone or language being used.By doing this half of your anger will be controlled and you will come to know the actual reason.For eg I have a friend of mine who used to stay far away from my place.The other day I happened to call her and I could realize some changes in the tone in which she was talking.I asked her to tell me the reason,but she refused.I inferred that she was rude after this.She actually told me that she would tell me later when we meet online,but I insisted her to say.If she didn't want to tell me the reason then she wouldn't have told me that she would tell me later.With her tone which deviated from her actual tone,I should have realized that something was wrong,but I didn't and for some time I even forgot that she was my best friend.Thus one should focus on the reason rather than concentrating on the tone or language being used.

Lesson #2
On a serious note whenever one gets angry one should have a glass of water.Water has this unique ability to reduce or minimize anger.It can calm you down.Also breathing in and out exercises would work.Some people count numbers from 1 to 10.A smile on face is essential.You may have heard of Laughter clubs,groups etc.This may sound funny ,but trust me it works.

Lesson #3

This is very important. Don't give into your impulses.Think twice before you speak.At times there may be words which would wound others feeling.The impact would be so high that this wound may take time to heal and may on worst case scenario may end up putting knots in our relationship. Sometimes we may say something when we are angry not realising the impact it puts on the other person.Later on we may realize our mistake and may even try to apologise,but its not always easy to forgive.So its better we should avoid taking risk and be careful whenever we are angry.No one here is perfect and we understand.We get angry and make mistakes,but we should be careful.

Lesson #4
Displacement of Anger is wrong.We know that anger is something beyond our control but why should someone else pay for someone else's mistake.The targets are people who are close to us.We may not wish to offend them by any chance.As we can only take them for granted and hurt them for somebody who hold no rights on our lives often.

Lesson #5

Listen Carefully and Develop patience. Only then you will develop the time to interpret your impulses before making them your reactions.And when you do that you will respond and not react.And when you respond,you are right because it involves thinking.

Lesson #6
Anger leads to unhealthy changes in our body.It is not good for our physical and mental health.Sometimes it may invite various diseases such as high blood pressure or depression which are the root causes for various diseases related to digestive,circulatory and nervous system.

Lesson #7
When we are angry,it is better to take it off in a composed way rather than taking it in.When we take it in ,it leads to frustration and the anger may come out in front of the wrong person at a wrong time.

Lesson #8

Anger is not the solution,its just a vent out.For instance,if you are happy for whatever reason and even if someone offend you by say pushing you in a train or something ,you will excuse it with a smile saying its OK.But on the other hand if you get pissed then anything or anybody will get onto your nerves and you won't be solving things just uttering bitterness and straining relationships.

Lesson #9
Try to empathise.It is not easy to keep everything in your mind when you are losing it,but if possible the person from which the reaction that is offending you is coming.And if you know that its not the person's usual behaviours try and give him some grace and see if you can be of some help.If you know that the person is like that only then why waste your energy.Your shouting will certainly not help or improve him.It will cause unpleasantness.Few say that Fire can't extinguish fire..only water can.If we stretch a thread from two ends it will break,so its better to let go sometimes.

Lesson #10
Last but not least Learn to forgive and try and stay happy.This can change your life.
I do believe that these lessons would have helped you in minimizing your anger. I take this opportunity to thank my teacher and my best friend Parul(aka Parzi in Blog world) for taking such wonderful lessons.Yes,she taught me these lessons and I wished to share it with my

Thank you for everything Parz :)..and sorry for yesterday :) ;).. This is for you and you know it why :)


  1. No need for all these lessons..... :P
    Learn to lead yr life as More Orangee....... u will excel in anger management... :D

    Good post.... :)

  2. Wait.. i want to suggest this to my frnd... He's frm Mumbai and his name is Stephen... oops.. its u.. hehe... :P

    But.. yeah.. very nice to see these points... wat else can i say but that i adore ur frndship so much.. so very much.. :P

    N how many sorries to Parz man..!! poor gal.. :P ...

    Just feels very nice to see Parz being such a nice frnd to u ..n to see u post this... :)

    and i want explanation for y u put up Rajnikanth on ur header....?? yedhuku pa? :P


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  4. *I won't need them but I'm sure angry people can take a good step towards being NON-ANGRY using this*

    Thanks for posting this up Ste! :)

  5. "Brave is not he who wields the sword rather it is he who controls his anger"~~~Prophet Mohammad[PBUH]

    this is a super post Ste...needs to be propagated around the world!!!

  6. grt instructions man...

    hmmm... I dont remember the last time i got angry n shouted at someone... i think it was my mum...
    anyways i very rarely get angry...

    "Anger is not the solution,its just a vent out"
    yup... 100% true

  7. The point number 2 is a good one! Recommended in islam when one gets anger!

    good one.. :)

  8. hey
    nice post..
    keep it up..!
    and m sure ur frnd will 4giv dont take worries n b happy.. :)

  9. wow I loved the water funda .... cool post ... and informative too :)

  10. nice post on anger management..I guess it also helps if you are a cheerful personality...and tend to smile in/on difficult situations!!

  11. stibumama...
    i think this will be the millionth time i'm saying this..but cant help once again thank u soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh for that adorable write up..n considering my stupid lectures worthy of being put up on ur prestigious blog and making them presentable with ur words...u r just the best...n i'm overwhelmed to see the post but yes guess i've to remind u again that please dont say sorry...its just not required it wasn't ur fault and dont be so nice to me!
    once again thank u..not just for this but for the gift of your friendship!

  12. Nice write up .i really need this...Definitely a take home for me..:)

  13. nice post. huh..

    by d way ye bata tote . . ye sare methods churaye kaha se.. :P

    aur isame se tu khud kitne follow karta hai ?? he he he

  14. Great post...made me think about my short tempered nature cum tantrums that I throw around freely..Nice lessons. Will try to implement some

  15. Your post has filled me with blind raaagggee! Oh wait...the opposite of that. The pathway to Nirvana perhaps?

    Nice blog. I think I'll follow along with your writings.

  16. hey saim hw r u ? nice reading ur post

  17. parzi

    dumbo u dnt need to thank me...samjii...

  18. nd parzii

    wht prestigious blog shut up.....bohot ho gaya....u naa

  19. sahityika

    totiii chup kar....churaya hua nahi hai....ullu

  20. kasabiangirl...u say u r short tempered damn ...i dnt believe this a single word...:p

    u r not nd i do knw it

  21. bang bang

    thanks a lot , follow these lessons nd i hope they will be of great use to control nd maintain ur anger ;)

    thnk u for following my blog

  22. These are some serious Anger Management lessons that you have mentioned! If only it's easy to follow!