Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Autobiography of a 13 yr old..

Hello Everyone,
I am Riya and I am 19 years old virtually and 13 as per my birth certificate.Well don't get confused between the numbers. Being 13 is like curse. Just remember that we are the next big thing on Earth. We have entered our teenage and yup we are unstoppable. Well, now I'm going to write about the difficulties that people of my age face. Let me write two separate parts. One of them will be the difficulties faced in real world and the other one in Virtual world. Bohoooo! don't think that I am stupid. After reading this if you call me a kid ,bachhuu or baby  then I will break your head into two equal halves. Well,  you can call me baby in other sense *blushes * but not the one referring to age. Bohooo! Lets shoot! Where is the gun? hihi :P

Real World.
Other day Momma was doing some important office work and I soon grabbed this opportunity to watch my favorite cartoon show shinchan. Damn! how cute and naughty Shinchan is! I love this naughty guy. I ran towards the drawing room to check if no one was watching TV. But I learned that my brother was watching highlights of India-Australia World cup match.

"I want to watch Sinchan, bhai let me see naa," I requested.
"Bhaiyya please," I cried.
He did not budge nor spoke a word.
"Abhey motte,dinosaur ke miniature form." I got angry and ran away.
I ran to my room and started studying once again.

My brother has been a big problem for me.Wait till I get to know his girlfriends name.
The other day I impersonated him and spoke to his girlfriend. Her voice was cute, but Riya doesn't gives a damn about it. I even kissed her on phone, who cares ? :P

But sooner  my brother came to know about this. He started his regular dialogues.
"Hey Ullu,Saaand, Rhinosauras ki bachhi." He was linking me with all the animals that he knew.
Even Mumma feels brother deserves the best and thinks that I am dumb. My parents love
that Motu and detest me. You know some great baba once said that it is difficult to think and behave like a 13 yr old. Ask a 30 yr old man to behave like a 13 yr old. But I  can as I'm 13 hahaha. Not funny !Hah!.
Papa brings just 1 cadbury chocolates for me. He says that since I'm a kid I could get germs and cavities on my teeth.

Virtual World.
Most of the time my fat and stout brother would be watching highlights of cricket matches that were played decades ago. Such a loser my brother is! He  doesn't allows me to use the PC. I could get a chance to touch the Computer dearest only when he is out to meet his girlfriend who don't give a damn to him. Yes, Loser guy my brother is! But I have to take care that no one is watching me. No No, I don't watch porn! Let me share my first experience in a Yahoo Chatroom  That was 2 years back and  I was studying in class 5th .It was the same period when  my dad got us an internet connection. No one was at home. I soon made a fake Yahoo and Gmail id. It was emma.hudson11. I logged into Yahoo Messenger using this id. As soon as I entered one of the chatrooms, I was scared. My PC was flooded with too many instant messages. At the rate at which the chat windows popped on the screen, I realized that these guys were just waiting for me. I didn't know what to do. I was afraid and was aware of the consequences too. I was closing the instant chats one by one. Those guys were asking for ASL and many things.

ashiq: Hey sexy Emma.
emma.hudson11: Hi!
ashiq: ASL pls
emma.hudson11: What?

I never knew the exact   meaning of ASL. I soon called my best friend Nikita  who knew the A to Z of internet and chatting. She told me that ASL stands for Age,Sex and Location.

emma.hudson11: 11 Female,  Delhi.
ashiq: Oh achhi!! Haha go to school kid.
emma.hudson11: Hey don't call me kid.
ashiq: Bye.

I was angry on Ashiq. He seemed to me more like an internet troll. So I decided to fake my ASL to 27 Female Mumbai. The next person to ping me was Aawara_Aashiq. 
WTF! Whats with this Aashiq's out here! I said to myself.

aawara_aashiq: Hello Emma. 
emma.hudson11: Hello
aawara_aashiq: 18M Delhi
emma.hudson11: 27 Female Mumbai here
aawara_aashiq: Oh wow! are you hot? Got nice boobs? 

I stood stunned for a while. He seemed to be a pervert. I blocked him at the same time. But sadly most of the guys whom I encountered were perverts and assholes. 

But I decided to have fun of these guys by faking my identity. From that day itself I changed my so called ASL  to 19 F Delhi. And since then I am 19 for all the virtual guys. This will continue till I actually celebrate my 19th birthday. Recently Less Mango ,one of my close friend in the virtual world invited me to a group chat with his friends Tee, Notfreedancer and Bijay in Gmail. I loved chatting with them.But thing is that at the end of the chat people came to know my real age. Then they all would tease me by calling me kid , baby, bachhi and so on. Notfreedancer called me a kid and I would get vexed. "The goats young one is called Kid," I would snap back at him instantly.

Uh Huh!!I'm very upset and sad. Virtual guys search for girls of their age and what will happen to little girls like me. Even guys of my age search for older girls in virtual world. What is happening? Oh God! I forgot to write my Maths homework. My teacher will kick me out the class. Let me write it before hand or else I'm dead.

Bye take care! Love you all xox :*


  1. awesome post.... :D

    i am getting a Deja vu while reading this post.... :D

    I know a "Riya" in my life(virtual).... :D

  2. tiz gr8!! ab pta chalega pplz ko ki teens ko kini probs hoti hai!!!

  3. He he funny post dude..
    "RIYA"... rocks... but still a bachuu....

    Less Mango

  4. ha ha ha....

    nice post.....but one of my 25 year old friend friend uses 20 f bhubaneswar to talk to boys...actually he is 25 m bhubaneswar...I think everything is virtual in this virtual world...

  5. Great one Ste... 13 thinks she's 19... :O But it's a very well written story!

  6. hahah.. really nice..
    do visit my page too..
    n keep writing..!

  7. Ste man...

    am laughing... help :)

    p.s. liked the header... There is only One United :)

  8. Lolz! ok.. out with it.. what age did u use when you started chatting ?! :D

  9. arrey...this reminded me of golumolu...i told u na..lying about his age...for chatting on social networking sites...
    anyway...great post...well thought of...
    different and nice!!
    keep writing
    god bless!

  10. yayayay!! ppl liked it!!! :D
    and u better say d truth in dat "riya rox " thing Mr arun.. :P

  11. hehe..
    mujko shinchan pasand hai bohoot :D

    same pinch riya :D

  12. haha.!! Nice..! keep up d gud wrk.!

  13. heheehe i can tell u i relate it fully...specially d last part...bng called a kid in a group chat is annoying to ste remembr nt to do dat agn...

  14. I absolutely love the name callings between the siblings
    It's still the same between me n my bhai - awesome it is!
    and secondly, i think this chatting stuff is so weird. N you know, I was never a believer for faking my age. I'm not raising a finger or anything but, how do you feel good about being 13 if people don't know you're 13?=p I never got that!! Feel good whatever your age is! (H)

  15. Hey....nice work...!!
    U know your mention abt the ASL reminds me that i was once in the same shoes ;)

    Keep writing.. :)

  16. hahahha u used to think like that wen u were 13yr old??? no doubt u call me balak!!! I think virtual riya at 11 was better than 13 yr real one..

  17. reminds me of my good old times. lovely narration.

  18. omg this post is just damn awesom! very nicely framed..the greatest thing is dt while readin,i just felt as if the story wasnt abt "riya" bt me! :)

  19. Hahhaa....i really liked this one. Everything abt ur blog s quite interesting.

  20. If you are REALLY a male writing about how a teenage girl thinks. ...then awesome, you have the potential of being a novelist. They have this unique charecteristic of not just thinking from anothers view, but rather even living in anothers shoe! best wishes