Saturday, November 14, 2009

172. Lets talk about Sex...

Umm!!! Mmm!! Well don't expect anything steamy from this post.This post is not intended to amuse or entertain anyone.Infact I wish to speak about an important topic today.'Sex' is an essential part of life,but it is very sensitive topic. I don't think anyone would be comfortable enough to open up with this topic.Covering a sensitive topic in a different way is extremely difficult. How often do we open up this topic to our parents? It is an important topic to be discussed with growing kids.This won't inspire them in a bad way rather it would help them in understanding things.Kids getting inspired in a wrong way or the right way exclusively depends on the parents . We as adults talk about such things to our friends mostly our best friend.We share our wildest secrets with them.But we feel embarrassed when we have to discuss such things to our elders. If proper information is not given to them then they would be mislead in a wrong way and later on as a parent you'd have to repent and regret for the same.Girls find it easier to talk such sensitive and delicate issues with their moms.Mother understands her and she knows almost everything when she attains puberty.During her menarche itself a mom tells her daughter everything.But this is not the case with boys.Boys think differently.Guy chats basically exhibits the pleasure part of sex discussion.Such discussions mainly focusses on the body features and the sex organs.It is significant to discussion this topic to kids.Well there are few parents who refrain from such topics.Infact they should know that this is going to be a integral part of their childs life. These days certain schools are organizing sex education at grade 8 or 9 just for the same.Talking about touchy subject is really terrible at times and at times it can be pathetic.Teen age is an age where we fail to realize the difference between Love and Lust.Both are completely different from each other.The former may represent a kind of feeling and emotion and the latter might be a result of those feelings.Just I want to let you know that both are two different poles of a magnet.Anyway I don't want to divert the topic of discussion. Lets make it more easy by enlisting it in point form.What all points should we take into account when we discuss this to kids? and how it would impact them.
1.Open conversation:
Talking about this would certainly help in the child's development.If you are worried that it would inspire your kid in a wrong way then no issues.May be your child is clever enough and knows many things.Make the conversation open.Make your child realize the need for the discussion.It should be a lesson and not a fantasy story.So it should be conveyed in a proper manner.

2.Comforting your kid
Try to be comfortable when you talk such delicate matters to your kids.Trust me these topics are difficult to handle.Misconceptions should be handled properly.Try to make your kid while discussing.It should not  imbue a negative feeling in your kid.If you are uncomfortable then its better to stay away rather than delivering something which would drive child in a wrong way.

3.Answering in a right manner.
Any normal kid would have doubt in such topics.Its better to answer them and clear such things off.Don't feel pressured while talking such things.Don't let your child bombard you with serious questions and disappoint you.

4.Bonding relation
A parent may not always be a child's best friend.Some people teach their kids and value their relationship with them.Hence you should be having clear cut boundaries between what to discuss and what not to discuss with their kids.

5.Avoid Confrontations
Don't put your child in a fix.Don't focus on them.Take the matter lightly.Taking this matter seriously with significantly affect them.
If you have a topic in your mind then better let the listener react and respond.Instead of answering our views we could respect their views and value them.I have seen television commercials about such topic.People actually feel embarrassed while talking to their child.In an ad , a person talks about condoms and AIDS.The parent changes the TV channel instead of discussing it with the kid.When a child knows that when you are exploring a subject together ,then he/she would share their opinions with this context.

6.Befriending your child.
Try to be a good friend to your kid.This will surely benefit you in one way or the other.Only a best friend can understand his/her friend.

Well I am not here to discuss about parenting. I am still young to be called an advice maven.Its just that I like bringing out such topics.Till now we have seen how a parent should react while talking about sex to their kids.Lets talk about kids point of view.Generation gap is not a big problem if you understand your parents really well.Try to be patient with your parents.I understand that it would be strange talking about this to parents.Try to be practical and you should know that your parents would be having the same feeling that you were having at that time.Lets start with a general topic.Enlighten them with some serious topic that teens normally undergo.Know their reactions and then proceed with your problem.No parents are child's enemy.In serious words they are your support structure who supports you.If you are talking to your parents then you have to value their opinions and advices.Try talking to parents and other elders for seeking advices regarding such topics.
Here are few points which I would like to share with my readers.

1.Approaching parents.
Always approach your parents for advices.They are the best advice maven available on earth.If they are busy ,then take your time and ping them later.know their importance in your life.

2.Start with general discussion.
I got this point from a friend who is a relationship expert in a site.Instead of saying "I want to have sex with Katie" try to generalize the same."Should teenager wait till they get married to have sex?" should be a best substitute.This would give your parents reactions as well.

Listen to your parents.They would help you only if you are willing to listen and accept their advice.

4.Don't argue with them.Try to avoid a tiff with your parents.You may disagree with their decision ,but you should try to respect and value their reactions.

5.Use media such as magazine,newspaper ,television as a starter and try discussing facts with them.I'm sure this would be helpful.Let them know their reactions about certain article or cover story which talks about sensitive issues.

Well I have some strange feelings that I am actually boring my readers.Apologise me for the same.Now lets switch on to Importance of sex education.Sex education is an and should be an integral part of our curriculum.I still remember those early days of my life when we had sex education at the age of 14.We were shown the entire process of child birth.It was a real shocker at that innocent age where we were not used to be shown such things.After that our respect towards women grew a level.She has to struggle to bring her baby out in this world.We spoke about AIDS and other sexually related diseases.We were given insight about the ill effects of going into a wrong path and importance of life.I wish to tell that try to be sexually healthy but it doesn't means that you play around carelessly.Sex education surely would try to freed one from the ill effects of porn and other misadventures :P .Try to use protection and other necessary measures while indulging into any intimate activities with your partner.Talk to your elders about sex and listen to them.If you don't listen to them then I am sure you are missing something.Enough of research,advices and lectures.I wish to see you back with some different issue.And yes try to learn the importance of your life and value it. Any way thanks a lot for your wonderful reactions about my previous story.The protagonist was none other than my childhood friend whom I know since class 3.I am not happy with this post as somehow I feel that it lacks something.So tell me your experience? Have you ever spoken to your parents about such things?If yes then you may wish to write it here.Thanks a lot for patiently reading and God bless.

Signing out .
Love and Hugs!
Solitary writer!!!


  1. U shud write for Readers' Digest :)

  2. my God my God my God!

    thank you fro bringing me here.
    or else i wud have missed on something so big!

  3. Well detailed post with some good advise given.

  4. I second alisha...yeah u should write for RD...

    a very up to date post....
    ter's lotsaa wonderful advice for adolescents...
    I too have talked a lot about this topic on my other blog..and yeah people here on blogger do seem to realize and agree..but i think the people who really need all this are out of the blog world..

    they still burst out laughing when we talk of "parents as friends" concept...

    well I liked the way u put it :):)

  5. A very good post :) Should make parents as well as children to read this post!!!

    Why don't you write a column in a good magazine da?? You'll make it big :)

  6. This is my first visit, but I'm very impressed with your blog. I have a blog myself that provides inspiration and guidance to millions of people around the world. I was wondering if we could do a link exchange to spread some traffic around. Let me know if this is cool.


  7. A very important topic dealt with great sensitivity!! Must read for all youngsters!!

  8. A very pertinent post i must say. Very well written, all the youngsters must read this.

  9. hmm...wat u said in the beginning is true...gals find it easier to talk abt these things to mom.........the same is the case here...!!

    ur post ws good, firstly because u wriote about a very sensitive topic(its rly difficult to write such things) n secondly because u covered it 4m parents n kids point of views..!!

    i loved ur line " They (Your parents) are your support structure who supports you".. Keep writing :)