Monday, May 30, 2011

The Great Indian Twitter Robbery

The Great Indian Twitter Robbery
Disclaimer - This is a work of fiction. All the characters are fictional. They never exist.The Businessman mentioned here is an asshole who loves tweeting like few of you  twitter addicts do!

This is the story of an Indian billionaire  whose story shall be a lesson to all the Twitter users. As we know, Twitter is turning out to be the greatest and the most famous child of the social media. There are different pros and cons of using the same. This story shall be a lesson to all Twitteratti's who  tweet a lot about their personal stuff.

Rahul Kumar is one of the board members of a famous  Insurance company. He was previously holding the post of  the vice president in an  IT company too. He seemed genteel, respected and honored by most of the high class  people. He belonged to an affluent family. He had a charming wife  Dipti and  an adorable daughter Aishwarya. He lived a simple life. Tweeting was his hobby  and one of his favorite past times. He used Twitter to interact with his followers and other subject matter experts. He expressed himself through this application. He would update all the little things of his life on Twitter.After having lunch, he would tweet about his meal. But still he was one of the most ubiquitous personalities around!

Every morning he would wake up and tweet  about the same.

Monday ,  5.00 am 
"Good Morning World , it seems to be an early day...got to jog 10 km today and then back to Yoga " 

Monday, 7.00 am
"Back from Yoga and Regular exercises ..Now going to attend natures call."

Monday, 9.00 am
"On my way to office folks, feels good today...gifted a diamond necklace to wife and ring to Aishu yesterday"

Monday, 2.00 pm
"Having lunch at the  Green Meridians with Abhijosh Bhatia, my good pal and  colleague at Simon's India ltd"

Monday, 8.00 pm
"Back home..a very tiring day..need to ask Dipti to massage my back..can't move...Aish scored 90% in boards.I'm happy folks!"

Monday, 10.00pm
"Good night Tweeple...have a great night...sleep well..sleep tight ( Shares his Sleeping selfie pic)"

We shared few of his regular tweets above. Several times he had even tweeted about the amount of wealth and jewelries at his home.Luckily no one took a note of  such tweets. But there were a group of guys who were noticing all this. They followed celebrities through the different social media networks like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and  spied them. Its adversity  that  would spur them to do such activities.They silently followed Rahul Kumar in twitter and were keenly monitoring him and all his tweets on Twitter. Sometimes they would even  favorite and retweet some of his tweets. Gradually they came to know about Rahul Kumar's daily routine. Thanks to Twitter for exposing his activities!

It was a fine sunny Friday when Rahul tweeted ..
"Folks, heading for Boston with Dipti and Aishu...got a meeting with  Ashok Badu, GM of  Hiemens Inc..will be bck on Monday'

The very next day the group of notorious youngsters known for their  innovative robbery techniques  started with the execution of their plan. It was an ambitious plan of mugging up precious items from Rahul Kumar's home. A flock of  pigeons flew near Rahul Kumar's bungalow as these masked men entered the bungalow. They broke the lock and the entered the bungalow without leaving a clue to the neighbors about what was  happening inside. They soon  filled their bags with the cash and Jewelries.They accumulated all the cash  and everything precious.  They soon flew away with all the money and items that they stole.

The next morning, news on Headlines today - 

"Assets worth 27 Crores looted from Business Tycoon Rahul Kumar's  Bandra bungalow" 


Moral: Never tweet about personal stuffs in Twitter.There might be someone prying on your account.  So better keep  a safe distance between your personal and virtual life. Let virtual be virtual. Lets not mix the real and the virtual world. 

Written for -> Sunday Scribblings


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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Go Away my love!!

 Life was taken  aback as my loved ones left me. I met you at a time when I desperately  wanted to live life. It was a blissful moment everytime I lived with you. You never made me feel miss home. But today  you said it was all over. All over for me and all over for you. I'm not hurt or sorry but I am confident enough that I  don't need you  anymore.I can fend for myself without anyones help.You think I  shall be flummoxed and give up. Why do you have to hurt me and leave me with all those scars?. Wouldn't you love me anymore?. With pain and tears on my eyes I reminisce about the happy moments with you.


I'm hurt,I'm sad, I'm jinxed. You stole my love  by giving me the yellow balloon. Today that you have gone, I'm releasing this balloon from my life. Go away my love, go away balloon.


Life has made me strong enough  that I can fend for myself. 



Written for Thursday Tales


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Friday, May 27, 2011

Tiger Trailing

 How many of you have heard about Ranthambore? . It is a very famous tourist spot located in Rajathan. It is known for the tigers found in the jungles of Ranthambore. Our weekends were boring and so me and my friend decided to bump into the Ranthambore National Forest.We both are a great fan of Tigers and wanted to see the last few breeds of tigers alive.This place is quite popular amongst foreigners. I have come across few Germans,Italians,Spanish,English and American people during this journey. It was not a good experience to be honest. Our sole intentions were to spot  tigers.Tiger trailing is sometimes fun but not everytime.


We board the not so famous Nizamudin express  and  this time we had to go for a sleeper class. Unfortunately we missed out the gorgeous beautiful girls who were seated next to our bogie.My friend would often make  an excuse of going to the bathroom and look at those pretty girls. Finally we reached SawaiMadhopur early morning at 5 am. I admit I'd never woke up this morning  since last 2 years  after Engineering College days. We booked a hotel room next to the room where two German teen girls were staying. Friend would never miss a chance of viewing them everytime he heard them speak. He never had the opportunity of eavesdropping too since this Arsee  never knew German. We  booked around 4 Safari's. two by Canter and 2 by Gypsy. It was actually exciting to know that we both were going  to an adventure trip to view tigers. When we entered the Forest Office to collect our passes then we realized that a melodrama awaited us. We both were given route number 1 and as per my friend Route num 1 has not witnessed any tigers till now.We had already  paid 500/person for the Canter and friend insisted  the officer to change the route.  Offcourse we all know that goverment employees are such a pain in the #$@.  He said for once that if you two won't go  then you won't get your money refunded.This Arsehole friend of mine had ruined my entire mood  by then by pestering the officer. It was late till he realized that bloody wasn't going to admit us to the canter and we had to look for other canter. We had to pay separate amount for the new one and it was for route num 3. It wasn't an awesome  one for sure since we two were the only Indians in the entire team.


The Canter was filled with an ensemble of Firangi's from Germany,America,Spain etc  .It was quite unfortunate that we had to miss out the Indians. For a moment we felt  as if we were still ruled by the Whites.We entered the jungle with intention of viewing the tiger.We had a bloody Bihari  guide who in his Bihari accent would talk in English. We tramped around the jungle and we were taken aback when the guide told us that there is no Tiger on this route. We were left speechless and someother guide informed us that they actually spotted a tiger on route 1. I glared at my friend and within a swift he moved away.The day went on.
Next day we went at morning.The same thing and we had route number 4 this time except the fact that we were supposed to board a gypsy this time for the tiger hunt. We saw every damn bloody animal including the likes of  reindeers,sambar deers,monkeys,peacock,aligators and even a leapord. But we failed to catch the attention of any tiger :D .After coming back to the hotel room ,we left for the pool.My friend's desire was to swim with some hot firangi chicks in the swimming pool.Our luck was getting worsier by time. We were the only two on the swimming pool and were semi naked with swim wears.  Finally we left for our last Safari with some mild hopes after 3 failed  trips. This time we saw nothing.Our hopes fizzled  and gradually we became  hopeless as our luck was too bad.For a moment our guide was flummoxed by the scoldings they used to get from the visitors.There were two damsels with genteel nature.They were too good to us and as you know we are always good to those who are good to us .Jeez!!


Finally we left Ranthambore and friend cursed the jungle and the tigers. After leaving the  jungle ,I just said one line to my friend  "Go and Fuck the Tigers out there,.....where are the Tigers ?Tune meri weekend ki Bahenc***d dii" .
He was   a shameless as usual and he grinned  back like a shameless. Posting few pictures from our trip.









Should admit that we wanted to see a tiger but we saw everything else except the tiger !! :D :P see you next time . Here is the picture of the Tiger which  I captured on my Sony during my last trip




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Monday, May 23, 2011

What if God was one of us

What if God was one of us
 
I wonder what would happen if God was one of us. He is the almighty creator of the world.He is the one who sowed the seeds of  mankind .Offcourse just imagine what would happen if he was one of us.May be you or me or someone close to you or some bloody random stranger. It will  be surprising and thrilling too. 


Everytime you do something wrong  someone from behind screams at you.You better think twice before you do anything God is watching you.This is what he/she would tell. Mom would often tell these lines very frequently. So if god really was one amongst us then would he still watch everything happening around us. Extremism,Molestation,Robbery,Adultery,Murder  and many other crimes happen all over the world. Hindus believe that  your crime is counted and is noted and all these would serve as your passport to hell.And in hell you will get punished  on the basis of  those mentioned in the Garuda Puranam. If  God was here then would things be different or would it really be the same. We all are gods own children.He is our creator and offcourse he owns us.How on earth would he watch his very own childrens getting sucumbed to the deadly sins. Would Osama Bin Laden would be the same if god was here?.Would   someone like Hitler existed who killed 100 thousand jews  if god was here. Would all people on Earth would still be bad and cruel if god was here? ...so much to ask but so little to think ?



Its a small world and we see very less people around us who are kind and  helpful.Its these people who sometimes serve as a support structure to us. It may be our Mother,Father,siblings,Husband,Children or any damn best friend. They all care for us and they  wish for our better life.They represent the true reflection of the almighty God. If God was someone close to us then we would go to him and give him a tight hug and say all our problems to him.He would work on the solution which would help us. Suppose you have an exam tommorow and you havent finished studying it.You pray to him the night before and say God please let the paper be easy .God will feed all the answers into your brain. Sounds strange but seriously how great that would be.Somethings in life would really be bliss when it happens for real like the one which I  mentioned above. If god was here then we would fear for all the wrong activity or sin that we do. We would definitely think  twice before going  ahead. If God was here then he would surely forsee things and warn people of the dangers and protect all his childrens. 


 Life is full of challenges. During our bad times we expect someone to be with us. Why not this someone be this person to whom we all surrender.May Almighty God bless you all.. :)


This was a prompt by CarryOnTuesday



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Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Surrender


Whats my offense this time?
If making fun of you was a crime,
then I'm already feeling guilty.

 You changed for once,
making me feel sad.
This change is bad.

I sit alone,
thinking of you,
will you ever  talk again?


Once friend,but now
you ignore me,
do you really want to?


I surrender to you.Kill me,Hang me,Shoot me.But please talk to me.You make me feeling guilty  and I feel like I am convicted of some big crime.I'm sorry I 'd made fun of you and hurt you then what are best friends for .I know you felt bad but forgive me  for I won't repeat it once again.Please do not avoid me,ignore me for I do not have any other friend  whom I could call my bestie. Love you best friend <3 <3 .I surrender


for Sunday Scribblings. 
 
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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

An eMail from a Mother



Dear Son,


Its disheartening to see you struggling  at your new place.I understand that it is important for you to shape your career and you left home for your job.We completely  appreciate your decision.We never stopped you but we were happy that you become responsible. You don't know how much we miss you and we are proud of you. Everytime we talk to you I hear discomfort in your voice. You tried not to break but you broke.You cried cause of your own plight and you were distressed too.


Its quite saddening to see your sufferings.I just don't want you to be shattered. As you know ,life is full of opportunities. It is full of lessons and every decision that we make and every things that we do does teaches us a great lesson.It is this lesson that we take ahead in life.It is all about learning ,moving ahead and never looking back.I want you to be strong and I don't want my sweety to be feeble and low.It is not your nemesis but its just a bad phase in your life. Why don't you realize this? . When you left us you sought blessings from me and your daddy. Perhaps you never saw your dad's face at that moment.It was filled with pride and you won't know how happy he was for you. You never realized how much your sister Priyanka misses you. Priyu would everytime ask me about your vacations and when would you come back.Son, I understand your importance at your work place.But I want you to concentrate on your health too.Without a proper health ,you won't be able to concentrate on your work and your life would become unstable.


You might be missing the Sunday Brunches at our home.Those special dishes which I used to make for you.You were the only reason why I made such delicious food.But today ,I almost cried when you told me that you  never had breakfasts since the day you left home.Is work that important to you?.Money is secondary .Spend money on everything that you need.Eat anything that you like.Your daddy never knows that you are struggling there.If he comes to know this then he would  come to take you back. Priyanka has passed her board exams with flying colors and she loved the Fastrack watch that you send her on her birthday.You never knew how excited she was.She would show her watch to everyone like crazy that her brother had send this watch for her all the way from California.You are the only reason why we all are here .Today is Mothers day.Last year you took us out and  It was a joyous moment for me being a mother.I still remember that day when you and Priu both gifted me a Kanchivaram Saree.That May was the best moment of my life.May is full of surprises to our family.Our Anniversary May17th is the day when you would never forget.It is going to be our 25th wedding anniversary this year and we all would be missing you this time .You would remember that day even in your faintest memory and I am damn sure about this.I'm proud to be your mother because you never cease to make us happy.Come back soon. We all love you. Health first and then rest.We all love you.I'm not strong son and I would break into tears on Skype video call.This is the reason why I;m writing this email to  you. Hope to see you soon.

Love ,
Maa

Written for Sunday Scribbling->May
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Friday, May 06, 2011

Testers Vs Developers

So its the same old story of the war between Developers and Testers.So IT guys can relate this post to themselves. Everyone knows that Development,Testing and Maintainance are the integral part of a software lifecycle.Likewise for a better product all the three phases should be functioning well.Development is the actual core development of the software which includes High Level Designing and preceded by Requirement Analysis and Gathering activities.The actual coding takes place in this phase.The Code may be written in any suitable programming language which the component or the product supports.  After this testing activities takes place.Testers  should have this ability to find bugs .I'm a software Test Engineer and I'm actually smiling right now while writing this post as this reminds me of those incidents where we have troubled the development team.After this maintainance activity takes place as the code goes into production environment,

This war  between a Tester and a Developer is long lasting and there can't be any end to it. I happened to test for a particular funtionality of  the component that was going to be migrated soon. As a Tester I would definitely look forward for finding the related issues which would actually not make the product to work.Unfortunately the development team sits  next to our bay at our office. For every defects opened they would certainly run hunting for the tester and possibly argue with him. The developer diplomatically talks to the tester explaining him /her the scenarios and the tester counter attacks with all his findings.Ultimately, the developer asks the tester to cancel the defect and the tester  refuses to budge.This is one thing which happens at IT company.I have a very good friend in the development team.I consulted her trying to rectify the issue and she asked me to test the same thing in another  test environment and there it seemed to function properly.  She came to my desk and gave me a wink as she gave a green signal for a defect. I soon logged into Quality Center and  opened a QC Defect to track this issue.Soon 3 minutes after she left  two of her colleagues possibly the developers working on my issue came running towards my cubicle before I pressed the submit button. I explained them the actuals and the expected which I was getting. They thought for a while and asked for 25 minutes giving a hint that they didn't want any possible defect against them. I replied them with a smile that I shall open a QC Defect to track this issue and they helpless nodded their heads saying yes. I went on to open a Severity 2,Priority 2 defect.


The job of a tester is to find as many defects as possible and the job of the developer is to avoid defects. If the tester fails to find a defect then it would be un avoidable as the code goes into production and ultimately it will come back to the  tester in form of a Live Defect.A Defect is OK to the Testing team but a Live Defect is not acceptable .An LD is ok for the Development team but a Defect is not ok.During this process ,we actually trouble the support team as well in case if  any environment issues persists.If we don't find any defect and if we get LD then management would seek an answer from us.So we could say that the testers are not at the safe side ,but the blame goes to the developer LOL. 
Who wants to be blamed ??? See below.




Developer-Tester,whats the issue on this? I guess this was working fine? Its an environment issue.
Tester-Dev,yes that was another issue.We already opened a Severity 1 towards the enviornment issue.
Developer-So what is the new defect for?
Tester-I'm not getting the right popup which I should be getting?
After 2 days ,the pop up issue is fixed but the tester opens Sev 1 defect towards the dev team.
Developer -I guess the popup thing is fixed ,..what now?
Tester- I'm getting multiple popups and I expect only one  pop up for which I would be opening a Sev 2.
Developer fixes the issue and after one day the tester again opens a Severity  3 defect.


Developer -(Vexed) What the hell!! now whats the issue?
Tester-I'm getting the correct  popup and just one.But its not of correct dimensions and  'submit' button is shown 'SBMIT'. I'm going to open a Sev 3 cosmetic  defect to track this issue.

Developer  gets irritated and plans to resign.... :D 



Check this image where the man runs away from the Bull



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Sunday, May 01, 2011

Over a piece of Cake

Written for Sunday Scribbling
This is story time out here at the Solitary Writers space. So all you bloggers keep reading. 


This is a story of two cats who were two  best friends.But sometimes they would fight over some petty issues. They spend their whole day tramping for food. They would steal food from houses and garbage boxes.It was a  sunny day and their misadventures continued everyday as usual. This time they stole a chocolate cake from  a birthday party. 


"hey this is supposed to be mine" Cat 1 said to Cat 2
"common,I saw this and informed you," Cat 2 said to Cat1 
"so what ,I stole this cake you  see," Cat 1 said.
"This is so annoying and I absolutely hate you for this...This is unfair man," Cat 2 got vexed for once.
They both fought and there was a clever wicked monkey who was keenly observing all this.


He ran to the rescue and planned to take his share.
"Hey my Sweeties, why are you guys fightin?," The Monkey said to the cats.
"We both stole the cake and  I'm not getting my share of the cake.This is unfair..  no," Cat2 said to the Monkey.
"No issues, I guess I'm here to give justice and trust me you two I will make a fair decision,"The Monkey winked.


Soon a wicked idea struck the monkey's mind and the monkey divided the Cake into two halves.One half was probably smaller and the other half was bigger.


"Oh no! this is bad . One half is big.Let me eat some part to make it equal," the monkey said to which the two cats nodded their heads.


The two cats were bewildered and  had to listen to the monkey's words.


Once again the monkey did the same trick and like this he happened to eat the complete cake.
The poor cats were disappointed and helpless at their own plight.

Moral- This is an amazing story and it gives an important moral to learn.We should keep our fights within ourself.No matter whatever be the scenario we should not let an intruder inside our life to take our share of happiness.


I hope this story makes sense although its quite a popular one in India.


TodaysQuote of the Day :-
Promises are like babies.It's fun to make it but its a hell while delivering.



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