Monday, August 29, 2011

Andy-Mandy: Ladki & Sala



 Andy and Mandy roam  in a shopping mall and Andy comes across someone. Andy goes to a beautiful girl who was standing with a smart boy.

Andy - (to the girl)Hey Sweety ,how are you? Love you loads baby . (hugs the girl) 
Andy - (to the guy)Abey Sale , kya haal hai ...yeha kya  kar rahe ho tum do..

Mandy was watching all this.Sometimes he would get jealous because of Andy's charm. He was skilled at making friends. Mandy thought if Andy could do that then why can't he. He soon spotted another  girl standing with a guy.He  rushed there

Mandy - (to guy) Abey Sale, kya haal hai ...kya kar raha hai...
Mandy - (to girl) Hey Sweety,how are you? Love you loads baby (hugs the girl)

(The girl slaps Mandy)
Girl- How dare you call me Sweety and baby?. Who are you? 
Girl - (to the guy next to her) AG Sunte ho...isne mujhe baby kaha...
Guy - (Slaps Mandy and Punches him ) How dare you call my wife by such names?
(A mob gathers and  everyone starts beating Mandy. Andy comes to his rescue and freeds him)
Andy - Bhai tune us ladki se batameezi kyun ki.
Mandy - (holding his swollen cheeks)Bhai , I did the same what you did to the other girl and the guy next to her.
Andy - Idiot...she is my fiance and that guy is my future  brother in law.

Mandy faints.
 
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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Andy-Mandy : Woh TERI hai!



 Andy - Abey tu Idhar kya kar raha hai ?

Mandy - Nahi yar, i am just waiting for a friend

Andy - Jyada smart mat ban...I know tu kiski wait kar raha hai...

Mandy - Bhai...she is  mine...woh  MERI hai..

Andy - Meine kabh bola be  woh MERI hai..... Haan Woh TERI hai.

Mandy - Bhai,are you serious? ..

Andy - Haan bhai voh sahi mei TERI hai..

Mandy - Love you bhai...you are my best friend... thanks woh MERI hai..

Andy -  haan bhai .. woh TERI hai..kitne baar bolu... abh blog likhu kya uspe.
Mandy - Thanks bhai.. i cant  believe you are telling that woh MERI hai..

Andy - Haan bhai woh TERI hai .... TERI BHABI :P


Mandy faints....
 
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Friday, August 26, 2011

Andy-Mandy : Woh MERI hai!!!




Andy: Abey Mandy, idhar kya kar raha hai be tu?

Mandy: nahi yar... bas waiting for a friend.

Andy:  I know..jyadaa smart mat ban...I know everything ...tu kiski wait kar raha hai...voh MERI hai

Mandy:you again started brother....har ladki teri  hai...abh yeh wali  MERI hai.

Andy:  Nahi Mandy .. mei  innocent girls ki zindagi barbaad nahi hone dunga..   woh MERI hai..

Mandy:  Look whoz talking..

Meanwhile the girl walks in ......

Andy : Achha hua you came dear ... tum MERI ho naa...

Mandy: abey dear ke bachhe.... tell me tum MERI ho naa

Girl:  haan Mei toh Mary hi hun...Mera naam bhi nahi yaad hai tum dono ko ( Slaps Andy and Mandy  and walks away)

Mandy: (with his hand  over his left swollen cheeek)  Bhai... yeh MARY na MERI ho saki ya TERI 

Andy: ( Looks at Mandy with his hands over his right swollen cheek) .



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Monday, August 22, 2011

Andy-Mandy : Friendship Band


Disclaimer - Andy and Mandy are two imaginary Characters. I present you the comic series. Will post it once every week. Let me know how is it


Pre Script
Andy is writing his "ADBMS" assignment and Mandy comes running

Mandy:Oye Andy !! Check this friendship band that Priyanka tied on my wrist.
Andy: Its beautiful and lovely brother.....nice nice.
*Andy continues with the assignment work.
*Mandy stares at the band
Andy: Mandy,why are you staring at the band like mad ?
Mandy: Nahi Andy,I wonder why is this circular colourful bead is embedded to the middle of the band?
Andy:Bhai ,do you still believe that this is a friendship band ( laughs).
Mandy: Nahi ,Yeh nahi ho sakta ...... mein kisi ka bhai nahi huuun



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Monday, August 15, 2011

From the Diary of a 16 yr old!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.




 Dear God,

I can't comprehend the grief and troubles that I'm undergoing.I'm turning bland at my own sufferings.They say God loves children and he never punishes them.I'm just 16 and life has taken a toll on me.I'm feeling horrendous and helpless.Everyday I look at the mirror ,I see my alter ego who mocks me. She says me that I'm a loser who was born to suffer .I look at myself,paralyzed hands and immobile limbs make me prone to wheelchair.I hear a babel of voices behind me everyday I go to school. It hurts when people mock me and make fun of me.
Everytime I see other teens of my age excelling in life ,a tear rolls down my cheek. I'm not complaining nor I'm whimping around.I tell you life was not harsh but I'm taken aback at times when it hurts me.

The doctors are perplexed for they do not know what haunts me.They have no inkling of what I'm suffering from.Pomple Disease is what they  say which ruined my life. I see myself as a  once whimsical young kid put  to test.I hate it when I see a large ensemble of people bewailing at my sorrowful condition.I'm no alien but I'm not special too.My hope for my existence has started to fizzle.I'm feeling flummoxed,feeble and fatigued at this moment.My Cervix hurts.What perturbs me is that what will happen to me in mere future. My future is an enigma. Could there be any cure for me?.The pain is excrutiating day by day.My doctors have raised their hands. I've lost hopes.I'm jinxed.I'm turning waif.Almighty,will you free me from all these pains?. Will you efface all my sorrows and show signs of hopes for me. I remember writing a poem which I'm sharing it with you.

"I jostled against the tide of time,
nothing is left in the journey of life.

things were thought differently,
never meant to go in such hurry.

I bleed to death with the appalling pain,
fighting to the last for what i have not gain.

Is this what is stored in my destiny,
half way through my life's journey.

expected so many avenues on the way,
but ended up like a seamless castaway"

I'm still waiting for the day when you will educe a smile on my face.I'm hopeful that day would be soon.Almighty,never betray me for you are my only hope.I'm no Judas who betrayed you but still you bestowed your love upon him.I don't know how my Kith and Kin will react upon my horrific state.I wish you pay heed to all my ramblings.I imagine myself as the small shards of glasses.The diseases has swallowed my thirst for excellence in life.Melancholy haunts me everynight I close my eyes to sleep. I sleep everyday with mild hope of waking up the next day.You are the Fuhrer of all Living being. You are the mighty Messiah in this Universe.I promise I'd be a good child and If I'd haver then you can banish me.I have no Qualms as of  now for I laid my burden and sorrows upon you.Dear God, I love you so much ...so much...
I hope you will free me  from all these pains and give me my share of happiness.. Love you God..Muaaaahhhhhhh..Yes I will be a good person and I promise I will never hurt Mom and Pop and little sister Bree... Lots of Love and Kisses.Hugs.Bye God

Love,
Emily
The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Happy Independence Day!

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Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Deaf Gay & Lesbian Center

Disclaimer- This post is not intended to hurt anyone or any group of people.No Hard feelings. =)

Folks, Don't go by the post title. Let me tell you that some thing great good is in the stores for you. Yesterday was a bad day for my friends.We lost a very good friend. Nevertheless lets forget it and life is all about moving ahead . So lets have some fun today. During my last release I came across something really different.I was speechless when I saw that.  During execution ,we have to prepare and search for  test accounts. So ,this time I was validating for the  Main Name Listing and was checking for some business accounts. I came across something like this. Just check  this out.


 Excuse me for the strike outs and red color in the image above  since this is actually prohibited. Company policies and restrictions are such a pain in the arse. You  need to adhere by it otherwise strict action would be taken against you. So I have removed the unwanted contents and highlighted the main part. Offcourse in our terms business accounts are followed by three trailing  hyphens. I read the name ' DEAF GAY & LESBIAN CENTER' and looked at the trailing hyphens. WHAAAAAAAT ... Business accounts and DGLC .. I pondered over for a while.Notified my Lead about this for a good laugh and we all laughed at it.He told me that it happens.There are some accounts which are too stupid.But yea, that is a real account and got to know from someone .SHHHH....My lips are sealed.After reading the  company name ,the Devil in my mind woke up. I wore my thinking cap to come out with something humorous after a long time. So , here goes my quest for finding the ultimate truth about the Deaf Gay and Lesbian Center.

So here are the few things which came in my mind.
1. Could it be some amusement or recreation center for Gays and Lesbians(will be reffered as G&L henceforth) Groups.
2.Could it be a Doctors Clinic for Deaf people and especially G& L  ?.
3.Could it be a rehab for G&L and such people who are thrown out of their home.


So,It was time to  scratch my brain like Mojo Jojo.
 G&L are terms which refer to people whose sexual orientations  are attracted to people of the same sex.So whats this all about,..Yeah I know Like poles repel each other.Thats what I  learnt in school but now its different. Who knows Like poles could attract each other.Roger it mate. During  development of human beings, God imbued some feelings in them.Men started liking women and vice versa. Things went ...they got bored of their counter part and started like each other.What Rubbish!!! Not Rubbeeeeeeshhhhhh.....forget it...Lets not divert from our topic. So what is this Deaf G&L Center all about. I googled it and the results didn't gave me what I was really looking for.Yes .. men can like men and women can like women...makes sense... oh yeah. But its ok because people do have feelings and there is nothing wrong in developing a thing for someone of their own sex.But its bad to hurt such people because its what they chose to be. I'm not mocking such group but thought of writing this.So what is the Deaf G&L Center all about ...Can someone pelase tell me ......I'm perplexed... ... Between did anyone even tell me that there was no humour in this post .. :p :P :P *burps*

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Monday, August 08, 2011

The Fall of a dear friend!!! :(

 7th August - The entire world celebrates the  festival of friendship. Festival , I call it because of the bond it creates between people. A friend is someone who is your alter ego,a companion,comrade,peer etc are few of those  people whom you look after being with kins. World celebrated friendship day and I heard the news of the sad demise of  a dear friend.


It was shocking for me. I was away from him for over 1.2 years because of my transfer to New Delhi but I would say that he was the best of my buddies. He was an adventure lover and may be it was his thirst for adventure in life made him kick the bucket at a young age of 26. 26 - The age where an individual stands by himself and makes a living .Think about his family who has been with him since his birth.How shattered could they be. We  both during our good times in Pune used to mock each other and have fun at our own expense. Batchmates would call us as Tom & Jerry. I would easily get irritated and he would enjoy the most of it. Today, I am upset and sad that I lost my buddy. He was recently in Delhi but I failed to meet him due to my busy schedule. I thought  I would meet him  when I return back to Mumbai. But today I learnt that I  can't meet him forever. A genuine smile would make his face bright.He was a rather chirpy,fun loving person. I remember those early days of our friendship where we began with a formal hi ,hello. These 'hi' ,'hellos' turned into 'abey yaar','sale','kuttey','kamine' and bose dk's. How good it would be when life was rollbacked to the last happiest moment of our life.We helped each other during the worst phase our training when we both flunked in Unix and the entire batch passed. We struggled,we strived but finally after some joint practice sessions ..we did clear the test.


 (RT and me used to practice programs in empty classes during weekends to avoid distraction.Could see RT writing UNIX Shell scripting codes  on his notepad)
How much did it hurt him when the entire batch cleared the training and he alone failed the eligibility criteria.I remember our entire batch stood by to defend him and he got a project in Pune. How much did it hurt him ,when we left for Delhi and he carried all our bags till the station. I remember he giving me the rossary and asked  me to keep it as a token of his friendship. We arranged the cakes and celebrated his birthday  after the Java sessions. I personally gifted him a Coffee mug and asked him to preserve it forever. Ajay sobbed when he told me the news.He was attached with him almost most of these two years. I only lived with him for 3 months. Ajay wept when he said that he couldn't forget him. I still remember I spoke to him last week about the Appraisal letters.He was the one who would always say that  my blog was made by copy pasting articles from famous writers novel. He would say that but never meant.How much fun we had together. He was a charmer. All girls would be smitten by his charm.
Till he was alive, he always wanted me to write a blog post about him. I never really had time for all that but today my fingers couldn't stop typing this post. But I afraid he couldnt read. This is for you  bhai.... God,why are you so ruthless. You took my friend away. For he wasn't a sinner nor he was a transgressor. This is not good.This was the fall of my dearest friend ever who embraced death .God bless him. RIP RT


We all love you buddy..


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Saturday, August 06, 2011

6/8 Saturday Ramblings ... :|


I see Skeletons in my closet. Everywhere I go I see  stack of sorrows replacing the bundle of joys in my life.Slowly my unsatiable thirst for excellence in life seems to be retiring.My talents seemed to have effaced.I fail to judge the right from the wrong and vice versa. My happiness seems to be dismantled part by part.Everything,everysingle bond seemed to be weakened.Reminiscing the past, memories seemed to be jaded and faded away. I'm jinxed no matter whoever cast an evil spell upon me. I'm knocking doors,someone hear me wail.I no longer see the irascible young man in me.


Melancholy overshadow the happiness in my life. It irks me. For a moment I feel myself swimming in a pool of sorrows. I seemed to have been drowned in negativity. I'm turning into a pesimist. I'm trying hard but I'm just turing hopeless.Nothings going my way. I'm distraughted and  never see anything right.My heart snaps. Why didn't I listen to my heart cry when I prioritized the decision made by my mind. I'm a cribber to few of my comrades and a crybaby to my peers. I ask this life the reason for transforming me into a  dull character.I feel like I have given up. Is there anyone to listen me cry. You mock me but let me tell you that time is the wisest counsellor. I am a valiant warrior. Just like a wounded tiger ,I will rise back and reply you. Its just a matter of 5 months or 3 months precisely.I hate this  which snatched my friends,family and happiness.I am in a jungle all alone with all strangers around me. I'm alienating myself from this place...


PS - I'm not sad nor I'm low.These are the thoughts running in my mind.I won't cry for no matter what. Men don't cry.Requesting you for prayers .Love you all <3  *hugs*


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Thursday, August 04, 2011

Smiley Love

Smiley Love
 This is a  Gtalk chat.

Boy:  :) 
Girl:  :-) 
Boy: \m/
Girl: :-|
Boy:  :D :-P
Girl:  :( 
Boy:  \_/3
Girl: |_|3
Boy: :-*
Girl: :-o
Boy: :| :( 
Girl: X-( 
Boy: :'( 
Girl: X-(   X-(
Boy: @};- 
Girl:  :) :) :)
Boy: <3
Girl: :-) 
Boy: :)
Girl:  <3
Boy:  :-*
Girl: :-*

And they  both lived happily there after


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Monday, August 01, 2011

Indi - Pak bhai bhai

 Peace 


Today is the 1st day of August  and to continue with my daily routine of killing bugs with a glass full of water and watching Dave and Cody on Discovery Channel , I plan to write something. I tell  you that  I have really made and met many people here on blogworld .Sometimes it makes me wonder if I were the same in real world and virtual world. We can't express ourself in real world where everything  and everyone  seem to you like a crocodile waiting for  you to eat you.There seems to be some sort of disturbance  and your innocence fail in front of that. Let me tell you that the worst thing in life is to express yourself. You do that  perfectly in  Blogs and like minded people read you and appreciate you. 

 To make few friends you must have atleast come across few enemies. This is  the tagline of the movie "The Social Network". Quite True. Why on Earth would anyone tend to make enemies?. I am here to make friends and not enemies. I am an Indian. People think that Indians and Pakistani's are one of the worst enemies. First let me tell you that we were one before  division way back in 1947. How great it would be if there was no division. Things would definitely would have changed . I am here to talk about Indo Pak friendship. I have made many good Pakistani friends recently. So when I say blogging and Pakistan ,there are few things which flash on my mind. And these few things relates to my blogger buddies.  So here goes my post about these wonderful girls. 

Asbah is my best friend who hails from Islamabad and my partner in crime .Our thought process is same and we founded 'The Writers Lounge'  on 17th July 2008. This was one memorable day for us. Asbah, whom I admire and who inspires me has always been my best buddy in blogworld. I still remember the first time when I spoke to her.She was too sweet and guess what .Today I spoke to her after a long time and I felt good. Asbah,our dearest Islex is  someone whom we love.

Insiya, my cute little blogger sister hails from Karachi. She is a wonderful writer and a sweet person. She was the one who wished me on my birthday few years ago and I found it great. I lost touch with her but I surely would love to meet her and talk to her. 

So ,here comes the active blogger.She comes from Lahore .She is a beautiful female blogger. Let me Introduce my buddy Mehreen. She is someone who who inspires me to write. I admire the zest and the zeal  in her whenever she comes with something new.She writes well and trust me I am keen to learn from her. But only if she accepts me as her disciple. She is curious to know what I am writing about her now. :P .She has a good company of friends and a large number of followers.And Oh yeah ,we do poke each other on Facebook. I have this experience of accidentally commenting on her status message and could not avoid some 90 notifications. All thanks to Aisha and Iqrah :P :P

Kiran Ashraf is one of my regular readers ..Kudos to her ...Love you dearie..God bless you too

Apart from these beautiful girls who hail from Islamabad,Karachi and Lahore...I have few other friends too but they are not close to me unlike these wonderful women. They are the best. God bless our friendship and God bless India and Pakistan.


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