Sunday, May 20, 2012

Autobiography of a Sperm.

Disclaimer -Fun Post. All photos are taken from Google Images!

Sperm is what everyone calls me. Length 55 microns and speed 35 micrometers per seconds. This world so full of opportunities and I keep waiting for mine.Living in  a pool of a viscous fluid along with my   other million friends my sole motto of life is to have fun. This keeps us going, the fluid I mean! It is super rich in Proteins, Fructose, Vitamin C, several enzymes and minerals. I have a tail that I wag every time while swimming. The Central Nucleus is to us like the Brain is to you guys. You won't believe when I say that I am  responsible for passing over half of the genetic information to a human baby. Imagine such a tiny thing me having such a super power or whatever you call it. Chachin and Spermwarya are my best sperm friends.  Chachin always used to tell me that he would grow up to be the famous sportsperson in this world. He would do many ad films and earn lots of money. Spermwarya is  ambitious. She  wants to be a rich woman and a beautiful actress in movies.  I don't have big dreams  like theirs. 
I just need a  perfect life.That's it! Just make it large. If tomorrow someone asks me something, I shouldn't ask myself that "Have I made it large?" Life is unpredictable. You guys are born out of a male and a female but we are not. We hail from cell divisions.
I popped out because of one such cell division.  Spermatozoon is what few people call me. Each one of us possesses around 38 MB of DNA information. It takes 64 days for us to grow into a fully matures Sperm. The craziest fact about us is that we are the smallest cell in your body. You must be wondering how I know all this. Well, my Granna told me. Yes, our grandfather sperm is the oldest sperm living in our pool. I tell you that our life  is full of pain and the funniest part is that although our life span is short we enjoy living during those short period of time.
“Guys rush to Granna Sperm's sector. He wants to talk to us," A group of senior sperms swam towards us. We followed their orders without any hesitation and swam to the Grandfather Sperm's area.
"My Loving Children, I have a reason to call you all today," Granna Sperm said.
"What's the  reason Granna?" We all shouted in unison.
"Yes, have patience. I will tell you," he said.
"Your call will come very soon. Each one of you here standing here will race towards the darkness of hope,” Grandfather sperm said with a straight face.
"You are friends now. But within a matter a time you all will turn into foes and will compete against each other. You will race with each other towards the biggest mystery of life which will be unfolded and only you shall know the reason," he added.
"You will take part into the battle of Supremacy, the survival of existence." 
"Await your call dear children," he said and went inside. Chachin, Spermwarya and I looked at each other with confusion. He never explained us what 'darkness of hope' was.

"What now? I don't want our friendship to be ruined under any circumstances." Spermwarya's eyes turned moist.
"Fret Not. We are friends forever," I said to her. Everyone left towards their own areas in Testipur, where we lived together happily.
I went to meet grandfather. 
"Grandfather, May I enter?" I , like an obedient student knocked the door.
"Sure child son, get in," Granna Sperm said.
"What's the darkness of hope?" I asked him, curiousness in my eyes.
"It is the chamber of the secret that will unveil new hopes to your future. It will decide your future, and you  and your friends will fight with each other. The winner of that race will make it large." He chuckled.
"What about the others here and their future?" I curiously asked him.
"Eventually they all will have to die. Such is the mystery of life. Only one out of you guys  will win and the others have to succumb," he said.
"And what about that call? When will we get the call?" I asked.
"Any Moment. Be prepared.  You shall battle it out with the others like you." He showed faith in me.
"But is it possible that we will really reach the 'hope' in the darkness of hope," I asked him.
"Could be. At times, there are circumstances where most of them from this clan die. It’s because of some of the cruel and selfish beings who kill us because of their own selfish pleasure."
He coughed and continued," Not everyone in this clan is born to win. Only the special one tastes victory. It is the one who chases his destiny demystifies the secret of the darkness of hope,"

"But how do sperms from our clan die without reaching the darkness of hope?" I asked curiously.
"Silly!Selfish men shed their sperm and it’s quite sad to know that most of our clan members are found dead on the bed sheets and washrooms and on underwears," he said.
"And few  obstruct us with the help of certain spermicides as a result of which we are caught in the gateway to the darkness of hope,” he added.
"You are too old. What about your call?" I asked him with some shade of innocence to which he laughed.
"Good question. You said I 'm old and you are right. Even if my call arrives, I will die as I've lost my motility." He smiled.
"Sad. Will I make it big and large?" I , like a sweet sperm asked him. 
"Why not dear? Just wait for the call,” he said and left. I spend few hours pondering over those lines which he said. It was complete darkness. I was with my friends. I heard a babble of voices of a woman moaning. I had got an intuition that something miserable was going to happen. Was it supposed to be my call? Within no second, a group of us around 200 millions of us were spewed into complete darkness. The moaning stopped. I saw lot of us getting active. Chachin and Spermwarya were with me. Everyone seemed to be swimming towards their destiny. We all were blindly following each other. I observed that some of our group members died on their way. We were being quick. It was like the biggest race of my life. We all were swimming fast. Most of my friends died. Even Chachin and Spermwarya died. I could not even locate them as I never looked behind. Grandfather’s words blared on my mind. It continuously rang on my mind. If I had to make it large, then I will have to sacrifice my loved ones and keep swimming towards my destiny. The darkness of hope never ceased to show me dreams. I kept swimming until I saw complete brightness. I saw 'hope' which was smiling at me. It was enticing me. I wagged my tail and went near it. Two of us finally made it. My next step was to fight the other sperm and reach the hope. I successful defeated the other sperm and fused with the hope. A new ray of hope gave me the utmost joy of my life. My body got disintegrated and I saw complete brightness. Pure Bliss! It was then I realized that I had successful made through the darkness of hope and reached hope. I was an intelligent sperm and hence I knew that I would make it. After that I didn't knew what happened but I thought that I had made it large.
After many years....
"Neha, you are so pretty and beautiful," Ricky said.
Neha had a beautiful round face. The face of the sweetest angel ever. She had a perfectly arched brow. Her eyes were brown and the entire beauty of the world seemed to have been confined into her eyes. It was so mysterious yet deep that it highlighted her beauty. The charcoal dark eyebrows framed her round face. She had a perfect tiny nose. She hid the eternal universes behind.
"You are the most pretty and the most intelligent girl I have seen in my life, " Ricky smiled at her to  which Neha blushed.
"Today, I am the youngest CEO of a famous IT company and I still  have many things to do in life ," Neha said.
"But I don't know if I have made it large," she said and smiled.
"Have I?"

Out of nowhere, a virtual representation of the grandfather sperm popped up.
"Yes, you definitely made it large and I knew it you will!I am proud of you dear," Granna sperm said.

Images have been taken from Google Images.

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  1. omg, super funny and interesting! Its amazing how a sperm can help create a new life.


  2. that was creative :D and the conversation was quite interesting and insightful! lol
    good attempt!


  3. Good Autobiography TSW! YOU have made it large, now:)

  4. Too funny...and what an interesting insightful conversation :-). Well written.

  5. funny...interesting...very well written:)

  6. that was a funny one
    "darkness of hope"
    lovely article likhetu

  7. Haha..funny. Presentation was good. The gist of the autobiography reminds of an animation on similar lines...good to put the disclaimer.

  8. Thanks for the comment, you have very interesting posts

  9. The comments started with 9 drops (ink) .

    That really made me lol


  10. wow! TSW... this was a great read! enjoyed it thoroughly! :D

  11. Amazing thought process.d names given to characters is too good.