Story of Sathya

How To Ruin Your Life by Twerking. NOT

twerking

Many years ago, in the North Indian town of Gaziabad, it was said that an angel appeared for the first time. Everyone must have heard of the alien sighting but not the angel sighting. The gorgeous angel had mesmerizing looks, and her eyes were seraphic. At the same time, a little girl was born. Her family named her Jasbah. Jasbah, they thought she would grow up, understand their feelings, and make her proud. This little lady had big dreams in her eyes. She wanted to make it big.  

“Dekhna Chanda, mei Badi hoke sabko apni Jasbah dikhaungi,” she would often say to her best friend Chanda, indicating that she wanted to be a prominent actress in Bollywood. 

She started working hard with this vision of making something grand in the film industry. She participated in various plays and dramas during her school days. Years passed, and Jasbah grew up gracefully to be the most beautiful woman in India. She earned minor roles in various short films and a lead role in a popular TV daily soap. Everyone who saw her acting would tag her as the lady perfectionist, and some used to call her Lady Aamir. Though she hails from a small town like Gaziabad, she made it big in Mumbai. Being a numero uno actress on the silver screen earned her a place in many fans’ hearts.

A Heartthrob of millions, she was! Pretty Looking, slim and slender, furrowed brows were some of the most riveting features of her body. Every time she smiled, millions smiled with her. That was the impact and the power of her smile. She could do everything on earth. She could dance, act, sing, and whatnot. Such a versatile personality she was! A very few knew her by her real name. She was fondly called the ‘Pyari Bahu’ in the Tele world, where she plays the role of Divyanka, who happens to be the lead protagonist of the TV show. It has been nominated for the ‘Best TV Soap’ category at the Annual Tele Awards for 2016.

To add a feather to its cap, Jasbah was nominated for the ‘Best Actress category. Her happiness hiked to a new level when the show producer called her and informed this! It is said that great personalities are often jinxed, and so is Jasbah. She was nominated 12 times for the Best Actress Award at several award ceremonies, but she had to return empty-handed every time. Due to this, she even earned the nickname ‘Leo’ in Indian Television Industry as actor Leonardo Caprio had to wait 7 times before he won the prestigious academy award. She would remain upset most of the time but better with every performance.

This year she was sure she would grab the award after her 13th Nomination.

“Pyari Bahu rocks!” She often used to say this.

The Award function was about to take place today at 7 PM.

After 2.5 hours of makeup, she waited for the clock to strike 6. As the clock struck 6, she revealed her look to her family. They all liked it. She was dressed in a gossamer delicate, red garment embroidered with gold, and jeweled butterflies and other ornaments adorned her lustrous black hair.

She was wearing precious gems in her ears, and her arms and wrists were covered with bracelets, while a golden band encircled her slender waist and anklets of gold shined on her feet. She had the ‘pyari bahu’ look in her. She entered the venue at 6.30 PM and posed for the shutterbugs. Many Bollywood celebrities could be seen. A famous TV paparazzi caught her attention and asked,” So, 13th time today? Are you gonna be lucky?”

“Fuck Yeah! 13th time, Jasbah gonna show her Jasbah today! I will be victorious,” she said and walked away.

The venue was decked with bright colors, and one could see Maharoof Khan, Bhumitabh Sacchan, Kakshay Kumar, and many famous celebrities seated in the front row. As she walked inside, Balman Khan, fondly called Balma Bhai of Bollywood, hugged Jasbah.

Balma Bhai was fond of shooting; whenever he meandered in the jungle, the deers would never venture out because of him. Such was the power of his man! Because of Balman Khan, she bagged his first role as an actress opposite Balman Khan himself.

Soundarya Rai Sachhan greeted Jasbah on her way. Jignesh Paul and Neel Kant were the anchors for the night. 10,000 people witnessed the award function. Awards were distributed from the word ‘go’ itself. Few dance performances graced the event.

“Ahh, so it’s the time to announce the list of gorgeous ladies in the Tele industry who made it to the final nomination for the Best Actress category,” Jignesh Paul said.

“The Nominees are,

1.”Divya Patel” for “Sasu Maa”.

2.“Tapasiya Sen” for “Upkaran”

3.”Jasbah Khan for “Pyari Bahu”

4.“Sejal Trivedi” for “Sanskriti”

5.“Deepika Choudhary” for “Aasha Kiran”

The hosts announced the nominees’ names.

“We would like to invite Mr.Bishi Kapoor and Mr. Barun Dhawan to present the award,” Jignesh Paul announced.

“And the best actress award goes to…….” Mr.Bishi Kapoor winked.

“Any guesses, guys,” Barun asked.

Meanwhile, all the actresses were nervous, and Jasbah didn’t want to be left alone. Every time her name was announced as Nomination, her heartbeat hiked zillion times. She only earned disappointment.

“And the best actress is Jasbah Khan for Pyari Bahu,” announced Mr . Bishi Kapoor, also known as Pintu baba in Bollywood.

Everyone cheered for her. She stood there agape. She couldn’t believe her own ears. She pinched her thrice to confirm if this wasn’t a dream.

She was visibly excited as it was for the first time she was blessed with the Golden Girl. She walked up on the stage and hugged Bishi Kapoor and Barun Dhawan. But, she couldn’t control her emotions, and tears rose.

“Toh Jasbah ji aakhir mei Jasbah dikha hi di,” Jignes Paul said to Jasbah Khan.

Jasbah smiled at him and winked. Her happiness today knew no boundaries.

“Firstly!” she started. 

She turned behind, facing the 10000 audiences, and twerked her butt. It was popularly called the booty shake in the western world. She expressed her emotions by performing this pelvic thrust step.

Maharoof Khan and Bhamitabh Sachhan were busy discussing their next film, and they remained stunned as they saw Jasbah’s booty shake. The crowd went berserk and asked for once more. She smiled and went on to continue with her speech.

“Thanks, Jasbah!” Jignesh Paul said brusquely, still not believing what he just saw.

She was delighted to win her first award. Poor thing never knew that a significant shock awaited her for her booty shake.

She was a student of Sandeep Sir, who taught her most of the dance forms. Apart from Booty shake, she could even perform Cat dance, Nageen dance, Rain dance, Ganpati Dance, and Mithun da’s trademark Pelvic thrust. She owed 1/4th of her success to Sandeep Malan, sir.

Outside she was encircled by a bunch of News Reporters. She never realized what she’d done was wrong. Her joy was at its peak, and her butts reacted, leading to the booty shake.

“Jasbah, aakhir mei aapne jeet hi li, Kaise feel kar rahe ho?” asked a news reporter from Kabhi Tak.

“Feelin Good. Top of the World!” Jasbah replied.

“Bohot Khushi measures kar Rahi hu aaj,” she replied to another reporter’s question.

She was tired when she arrived at her home. She was expecting a grand reception at home. But the scene at home was totally different.

Her entire family was glued to the Headlines Everyday News channel.

“Actress Jasbah’s butt doesn’t lie as she does a booty shake after receiving an award,” said Shravan Kumar, the news presenter of the Headlines Everyday Channel.

She grabbed the remote from her mother and switched to Times Wow.

“We have Andrew Atkins, professor of Human Behavior, Miss Shobha Le, an author, and Miss Shradha Sengupta, a famous Psychologist, with us at our studio today. Do you think that is how a person would react after getting overwhelmed,” Pranab Goswami, the Chief Editor of Times Wow, asked the experts?

“Well, Pranab, a person is responsible for their actions. So control is essential for a person. So one would know how to control her emotions and feelings on a bigger spectrum. I’m seeing this for the first time in a country like India, where culture has utmost importance over anything else. Being an American, this has happened many times in the US. I love doing booty shake,” Prof. Andrew Atkins said.

“What’s your views, Miss Shobha Le?” Pranab asked the author.

“We live in a liberal society? A person is free to do anything. So why create a fuss about it? “She replied.

Meanwhile, the channel was busy showing the booty shake of Jasbah Khan repeatedly.

“Andrew, but how could one forget her culture and traditions while you are receiving an award on a stage in front of Senior actors and many people. Where are our culture and tradition ?” Miss Sengupta expressed her views.

“Where is our culture and tradition in Jasbah Khan’s Booty shake?” Pranab Goswami asked and continued, “The Nation wants to know. India wants to know!”

“At this time, we are heading for a break. But, you can tweet us using #JasbahsBootyShake on Twitter.” He said.

She quickly logged into Twitter and saw that her Notification tab was bombarded with over 2 lakhs notifications. She has 16 lakh new followers, within 3 hours. In addition, she saw that she was trending on Twitter.

“#JasbahsBootyShake” was leading the trend followed by #JasbahButtsDontLie and #BootyShake and #AnnualTeleAwards.

She was frustrated.

“Guys, never get me wrong. I feel embarrassed. Don’t make me famous for the wrong reasons. Pls.” She tweeted. Within 30 seconds, her tweet was retweeted 1000 times and liked by 1300 people.

“Just coming, Jasbah tweets asking not to get her booty shake wrong.” Pranab Goswami announced.

“Andrew, why don’t you teach me a little bit of this booty shake?” Shradha Sengupta requested Prof. Andrew Atkins and winked.

“Go and ask Jasbah Khan. She does it better than me.” He laughed and continued, “I have no ambitions of trending on Twitter in English, Hindi, Gujarati, and Tamil..all simultaneously.” The entire guests laughed at Andrew Atkin’s remark

She switched to some Hindi channels, and the case was even worse there.

“Aakhir mei Jasbah Khan ne Award manch pe Dikha di apni Jasbah!” the News Presenter from Kabhi Tak News channel announced.

Few channels were asking viewers’ opinions in the form of poll SMS.

“Do you think Jasbah was correct in doing that Booty Shake?”

“If your answer is Yes, SMS Yes to 5555; else, SMS No to 5555.”

Jasbah was already pissed off. Her WhatsApp notifications crossed 1200 unread messages, and she constantly got calls from News channels and her friends. To avoid further embarrassment, she switched off her cell phone.

She was crying the whole night for that booty shake.

“How am I supposed to express my joy ?” She asked herself and cried.

She spent a sleepless night and learned that some Twitterati had taken to abusing and passing insensitive comments about her and her butt dance. She was tired of blocking people. She was trending on Twitter.

The following day when she woke up, the newspapers didn’t spare her.

“Pyari Bahu’s Booty shakes well at Annual Tele Awards ’16.” Mumbai times front page headlines read with the photo of Jasbah Khan.

Her producers had called her to inform her that she had been removed from the show due to media hype about her booty shake.

Balman Khan’s manager contacted her and informed her that she had been scrapped from the Project.

“God, I never knew my butts would land me in so much trouble,” she said, looking at the award, the golden girl.

She was not given preferences in Teleserials; movies were out of the question. However, she used to get small assignments in Bhojpuri movies.

She cursed herself for ruining her career.

The Solitary Writer
Step right up, it's Ste's show! Join me on my writing journey where I dish out witty tales, thought-provoking poems, and quirky musings on life. I'm a social justice warrior who sneaks in some humor wherever I can. Book, movie, and cultural critiques included. Buckle up, it's gonna be a wild ride!