Sunday, August 14, 2011

From the Diary of a 16 yr old!

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 23; the twenty-third edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is FREE.




 Dear God,

I can't comprehend the grief and troubles that I'm undergoing.I'm turning bland at my own sufferings.They say God loves children and he never punishes them.I'm just 16 and life has taken a toll on me.I'm feeling horrendous and helpless.Everyday I look at the mirror ,I see my alter ego who mocks me. She says me that I'm a loser who was born to suffer .I look at myself,paralyzed hands and immobile limbs make me prone to wheelchair.I hear a babel of voices behind me everyday I go to school. It hurts when people mock me and make fun of me.
Everytime I see other teens of my age excelling in life ,a tear rolls down my cheek. I'm not complaining nor I'm whimping around.I tell you life was not harsh but I'm taken aback at times when it hurts me.

The doctors are perplexed for they do not know what haunts me.They have no inkling of what I'm suffering from.Pomple Disease is what they  say which ruined my life. I see myself as a  once whimsical young kid put  to test.I hate it when I see a large ensemble of people bewailing at my sorrowful condition.I'm no alien but I'm not special too.My hope for my existence has started to fizzle.I'm feeling flummoxed,feeble and fatigued at this moment.My Cervix hurts.What perturbs me is that what will happen to me in mere future. My future is an enigma. Could there be any cure for me?.The pain is excrutiating day by day.My doctors have raised their hands. I've lost hopes.I'm jinxed.I'm turning waif.Almighty,will you free me from all these pains?. Will you efface all my sorrows and show signs of hopes for me. I remember writing a poem which I'm sharing it with you.

"I jostled against the tide of time,
nothing is left in the journey of life.

things were thought differently,
never meant to go in such hurry.

I bleed to death with the appalling pain,
fighting to the last for what i have not gain.

Is this what is stored in my destiny,
half way through my life's journey.

expected so many avenues on the way,
but ended up like a seamless castaway"

I'm still waiting for the day when you will educe a smile on my face.I'm hopeful that day would be soon.Almighty,never betray me for you are my only hope.I'm no Judas who betrayed you but still you bestowed your love upon him.I don't know how my Kith and Kin will react upon my horrific state.I wish you pay heed to all my ramblings.I imagine myself as the small shards of glasses.The diseases has swallowed my thirst for excellence in life.Melancholy haunts me everynight I close my eyes to sleep. I sleep everyday with mild hope of waking up the next day.You are the Fuhrer of all Living being. You are the mighty Messiah in this Universe.I promise I'd be a good child and If I'd haver then you can banish me.I have no Qualms as of  now for I laid my burden and sorrows upon you.Dear God, I love you so much ...so much...
I hope you will free me  from all these pains and give me my share of happiness.. Love you God..Muaaaahhhhhhh..Yes I will be a good person and I promise I will never hurt Mom and Pop and little sister Bree... Lots of Love and Kisses.Hugs.Bye God

Love,
Emily
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