Welcome to the 'The Solitary Writer' blog. This webspace is a central repository of all my creative spears. Enjoy my short stories, poetries, humour write ups, reviews and more. I hope you would like my blog.

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Mischief Monger

 I am not going to display my heroics through this post. The Title once used  to be my Twitter handle.I am going  to narrate a fiery event through this story.

I still remember those early junior college days where we used to prepare hard for our IIT JEE.The trainings and test would be rigorous and trainers would set pretty difficult question papers for us.My focus for that entire year was IIT.Gradually days passed  and exams were nearing.I was staying away from my family as I was studying in Pune. My family lived in Mumbai and I would get a chance to meet my folks during weekends. The entire event in this story happened during one  fine Saturday. Sunday was my exam.After 14 hours of rigorous study,I had finally decided to take a break. I learnt that my neighbour Chetan from my Class in the neighbouring Dorm had slept. I was studying continuously for 14 hours and he was sleeping continously for the same duration.

'Wheeeeee.....Krrrrrruuuuuu......Kreeeee....,' One could hear a long whistle of snore resonating at its highest frequency.I knocked the door as I wanted him to focus on  our preparation.

'Chetan,...abey motte...Uthooo yaar,' I knocked his door. Finally ,I realized that the door was opened. He lay sprawled out on the bed.He was just wearing a polka dotted boxer.His belly resembled the peak of mount Everest.His synchronized movement of his belly and lips amazed me.He was snoring away to glory.

I screamed at him  at the top of my voice to wake him up.He seemed to me like 'Kumbhakaran' who never planned to wake up.I made a last attempt at waking him up,but he remained firm like a rock.I finally surrendered after many failed attempts to wake him up and returned back to my room.

Continuously studying for 14 hours had taken a toll on my body.The one fact about my room was that there was a banyan tree located near my window which had no grills.This served as an entry for unwanted guests in form of sparrows,monkeys,crows etc. It was 4 pm and no power at our locality.Hence I had to open the window.There was an unexpected fresh but cool brisk wind which blew through my window.I dozed off as I was too tired after studying.

A Monkey surfaced on my window and saw a plate of fresh bananas.He was a young and  probably got lost from his troops.He was hungry and the fresh sight of bananas attracted him and he jumped in my room. He gorged on the bananas and saw me sleeping on the bed.I was wearing  my 'Being Human' T-Shirt and a boxer.The Boxer had printed pictures of fruits such as Banana,Watermelons,Mangoes and grapes.The monkey was probably more hungry and was hunting for more food. He saw my boxers and he could not resist at the sight of the watermelons.He jumped over me and dug his teeth deep into the watermelon. Luckily it was at the back of my boxer.

I screeched at the top of my voice.I sprang out of the bed and saw the monkey eating the  rags of my boxer.I helplessly looked at him.

'Shh...get lost ...monkey ...go away..shooo shooo,' I tried to shoo away the monkey but it did not budge.We both looked at each other for around 10 minutes.I wanted him to go but he was staring at bananas printed on my boxer.I wore my jeans as soon as I learned that the monkey was eying on the banana printed  on my boxer.My butt pained.I could not walk properly. The monkey soon escaped  from my room.I heaved a sigh of relief as I saw the monkey leave. I got back to sleep.After  around 1 hour,I woke up and left for Chetans room.

'Whee....Krruuuuu...Kreee...' He was snoring like anything. I somehow managed to wake him up.

'Hello...good morning brooo....,' He rubbed his eyes.
'Good Morning...Idiot,its 5.15 pm..,' I said to him.

'Oh my god...I am not going to clear IIT man...'He was being  pessimistic.
'Where is your exam center?,' he asked me.
'No Idea dude...must be Aundh...Let me check,' I said and rushed for my room. I had placed my admit card on the table which had the banana.I got tensed and panicked as I learnt that I had misplaced my Admit Card.

I searched my entire room but I could not locate my Admit Card. I thought for a while and came to a conclusion that the monkey had flown away with my Admit card.

I ran out of my apartment and searched for the monkey everywhere.I asked almost everyone for the witty primate.Afte 30 minutes, I almost gave up.But I had no options. A tear rolled on my cheeks as IIT was a dream for me.I was trying hard to clear the IIT JEE and had prepared for it since class 10.

I was sobbing and weeping.Everyone from my colony were looking at me. I controlled myself and wiped my tears. I was ready to tackle the monkey.

'Kheee...Kheeee,' I heard a sharp sound from top of a tree. I was delighted to see the same monkey seated at the branch of the mango tree. It had my admit card. I threw a stone at it and in reply it threw a mango at me.I rushed to the near by shop and got 3 bananas for the monkey.I threw the banana at it. It caught the banana just like how Jhonty Rhodes did it in the cricket field. I threw all the bananas at the monkey but each time the catch got better. I helplessly looked at the monkey.

An idea struck on my mind. I luckily had another Fruits printed boxer with me.I called Chetan and asked him to get the boxers for me. It looked like the monkey enjoyed eating the boxers. Chetan came after 10 min with a similar boxer. I waved the boxer at the monkey. I directed it to throw the admit card down  by showing different actions. It understood my gestures and it directed me to throw the boxer up. Its rightly said that Man and Monkeys are ancestral cousins. We both understood each other and the monkey threw the admit card below and I threw the boxer up. The monkey had made a paper ball out of my admit card.I caught it and put it on my pocket.The boxer could not attain the desired height and as a result it came down after reaching a certain altitude.Chetan and me ran away after we got our stuffs.The monkey glared at us and was highly disappointed.

Later on I narrated the entire  story to Chetan and there was a laughter riot.We both headed for our room and resumed back to studies.

Describe a fiery  event or situation either real or imaginary.I'm sure many of you might be having different plans and ideas.This post has been written for Indiblogger's Fiery Grilled contest -  To Participate click on the picture below...

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Thursday, October 01, 2009

164. Solli's top 5 Adventurous Moments..

Hello my dear brothers from blog world and their wonderful sisters(not my sisters ),I would like to bring something interesting this time.Yes,I will  write about my top 5 adventurous  moments.To be  honest    the  Solitary writer was a dumb kid like Einstein .Later on Solli tried something  different and turned out to be a clever kid. Gosh!  I know I am putting  you  to sleep,but  guess I won't.I promise I would add extra spices and all flavours to make this even  more attractive  and  "funny". Last but not the least let us talk about my updates for this week.We are planning to meet up this weekend.Finally Priyanka reached Mumbai and guess what  now its  time for more  fun.Urv is having her pre finals so we would  definitely miss her.Kajal (Cilla)finally got time.No confirmation from other  guys.My Farm in  Face Book is really going  good.

Thanks to my wonderful  farmer friends Americanising Desi,Tan,Diana,Lena,Marrisa ,Shubham and many more for those cute  gifts that  you send me for my farm.Don Solli  Vitroe is growing really strong in Mafia wars. But that will come soon.Lets start with the   topic for today.. Lets  shoot!! .Here we go with my top famous 5  adventurous moments.

1.   The  Train Mishap.

I reckon everyone must be knowing the Vashi bridge.It serves as the only connectivity between  Mumbai and Navi Mumbai.Thanks   to the  Thane - Vashi train link  for  providing an alternative option.It was 4 years  ago. Solly was in his first year of Engineering.A fresh  kid with lots of hopes and dreams.Initial  few days of his Engineering life was interesting,but later on he  got bored and Solli metamorphised into a true Engineer by developing all those crazy lazy  Engineering habits. Some examples of the same could be studying 3 days before exams,bunking regular lectures and sitting at the canteens and peeping at girls and so on.Before coming to this point lets talk about that interesting creature who once used to be Solitary writers best friend.He was none other than Deepak Chandrashekar.He was a serious person from outside and kid by behaviour and attitude.One day they both met up at the Kurla railway station.He failed to realize Solli's  sense of urgency as he  was getting late for lectures. Solitary Writer was   sincere during initial phases of his engineering life *blinks winks* .He urged Solli to   wait for another 10 minutes.They both waited for around 15 minutes.Finally they boarded the Mankhurd 8.21 am local.It was  less crowded as compared to other  Belapur and Panvel trains. They  reached Mankhurd within no time.It was then time to wait for the Panvel train.They both waited  patiently for another 10 minutes.The train came and their  eyes went wide after seeing the crowd.
"Abhey yeh kya hai(What is this?)," Solli said to Deepak.
"Man I never knew this dude...this is hell crowded," Deepak replied.
"You surely suck for this thing, lets get it," Solitary writer said to his friend.
Finally they both get in.The train was  crowded to such an  extent that they both could not find a place to stand.They both were standing on the tip of the entrance and the train took speed.It was time for the  dangerous act.If they both were to take part in  "Khatron ke Khiladi" then they would be the winners for sure.Solli's one leg was floating in air while his other  leg was placed on the tip of the train door. His friend Deepak was standing  next to him.
While the train was moving along the bridge ,these were the wonderful conversations that took place between them.

"Dude  , if  you reach  safely then  please inform my mother that I fell into the sea while  travelling ," Solli was scared.
  "Shut up ,you do it yar..I am sure this is the last day of my life," Deepak said to Solitary Writer.
"Chill dudes,don't worry won't fall down" A man sitting at  the top of the train  said to both while he was   brushing his teeth..
Finally the train reached Vashi station and they got down. Gosh! I don't know what was going to happen.But to be honest that was flirting with danger for sure.     

2.Their Date with  a Fat Chameleon.

It was   Solli's first  appearance in his college in that particular  sem.It was sem 3 and Discrete Structure lectures.People started greeting him like anything as he stepped inside the classroom.His eyes soon  scanned  the entire classroom.He could not find any place to sit.He found his  best friend  and partner in crime Aditya Rane  waving at him.Aditya Rane is the same person who  acted in the documentary movie  "EeeeeesHHHHHH" which was  directed by  the Solitary writer himself.
"Chill are you  dude?after a long time,"Adi said  to Solli.
"Yes got bored  sitting at home  so I am here," Solitary Writer said.

After 25 minutes  they both get bored.
"Tell me hows ya  Karthik,"Adi said to Solli.
"Don't call me karthik,huh!" Soli replied.

"There is something  on my  legs dude,"Solitary writer said .
"So what?  see  whats it " Aditya replied.

Solli  bends  down adjusting himself at an angle of  60 degree to see what was   irritating him.He could not see the  thing but he grabbed it.
 "Man, gosh it  got thorns!" Soli said  to his friend.
"Ok! close  your  eyes  and   show me  but you  don't  see ....okie" Aditya said to Soli.
"Ok fine yar."Solitary writer replied.

"Tain Tan Tain...1..2..3.woaaa....."Solitary writer yelled and everyone of a sudden looked at him.
Aditya stayed away  from him.
"Omg!!its  a  Chameleon,"he asserted.
"  Girgit!Girgit!Girgit in Karthik's hand!,"Aditya  started   screaming.
Solitary Writer  fainted when he opened his eyes to see the fat chameleon that bit him on his right leg. It was  a  funny incident and yes  another adventurous moment in Solli's life.   

3.Chased by the  Dog

This thing happened when Soli was in class  5.There was a   dog which lived near his  neighbourhood.It was  smart and sweet.But this little  dog  loved maggie noodles.Maggie noodles was  one of the  favourite dishes  of Little Solli.He walked out of his house with his tiffin box in his one hand and other hand waving 'bye' to his Mom. He used to walk as Little Solli never had time for exercises and stuffs. This  dog  somehow  identified the aroma and  flavour  of the maggi noodles.It followed Solli like  the hutch pug.Solli failed to realize that the  dog was actually chasing him from behind.Later on he came to know the same.He started  running with his bag on one hand and his tiffin box on other.At one point of time it seemed as if Solli and the dog were participating in the Marathon race.The dog finally jumped over Little Solli and ate all the maggi noodles from  his tiffin box.Finally it licked Solli's cheeks    exhibiting  its token of thanks  and left the place.Little Solli was embarrassed and cried like anything and he had to remain hungry.                            

4.Broken Elbows

Well I have written a long post about the broken elbow thing before.Let me summarize the same.This happened  recently when Solli was walking along the Andheri station.His eyes grabbed the attention of a gorgeous girl.Within  7  days the girl became his good friend,but poor Soli got his elbow broken for the same ..Silly Solli!! Read the entire Elbow episode here

5.Flirting with the Shark

Last year Solitary Writer spend his vacations in US.He went surfing at the Miami beach.Surfing was one of the favourite hobbies of Solli and he loved it.He enjoyed surfing.He left for the beach at 4pm with the swimming suits and everything.His eyes got a glance of a  large fish which he believed to be a dolphin. Soli  once  learned that after dogs dolphins are supposed to be mans best friend.He went close to it.Solli assumed it to be a  dolphin until he saw its jaws.
"Omg!! Run run," was his  first reaction.
I mean swim  swim.        
He swam  fast like a seal  and never looked behind.He finally looked behind to find that the  huge shark  was  gorging heavily on the  plants present beneath water.It was only then   Solli realized  that it was a  vegetarian shark.        

So how was the adventurous moments.I hope it was funny and at the  same  time adventurous  as well.I can  see you guys smiling.Are  you?                                      

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