Saturday, May 19, 2012

Autobiography of a 11 yr old..


 Disclaimer - This is a work of fiction. No intentions to hurt any one. No Offense.
 

Hello Everyone. I am Riya and I am 11 years old. Well to be honest, I am not a big thing on earth but I should say that mother has been constantly saying that I turned into a woman since 2 months. That’s quite strange but obviously she must have meant something. Life seems to have changed 2 months back. Those two months weren’t fun at all. Trust me I have gone through serious problems since the last 2 weeks. It just scared the hell out of me when i experienced it for the first time. I am talking about the menarche. I am always a fun loving person and I always intend to keep the environment and people around me lively. I have an elder sister who stays at my Uncle’s place. I have a younger brother of 7 years old with whom I fight every day. It was one such day when I wrestled with him. Usually I win the battle with my little brother. That day I felt weird and strange. For a change my brother won the battle. I went to bed very early that night. I saw blood stains and I realized that something must have hurt me during the wrestling match. The next day I woke up and left for my school. I sat on the last seat. We have a white school uniform. My teacher observed the stains on my white skirt and asked all the senior boys to go to the front seat. She possibly saved me from an embarrassing situation. I like an innocent never knew what to do. I was scared to hell. The teacher covered me with her shawl and sent me home. My mother came to take me.

"Go straight to your room," She told me.
Like an obedient daughter I followed her order. I went straight to my room. She came and closed the door. She made me sit on the bed and looked at my eyes.
"When did it happen?," She asked me.
"What  ...Maa?," I casually asked her.
"Idiot..the stains," She said.

My mother is a typical Indian mom. At times she turns serious and at times she is so confusing. I sometimes fail to understand her.
"Yesterday I was wrestling with Chandu and I got hurt," I said with a sad face.
"Oh how stupid you could be...idiot," She said and smiled. She explained me the reason behind it. I was shocked. She was right and I realized it as the physical structure of my body started changing. "Mother, I am scared," I told her.
"Don't be..Now this is a part of your life," She told. *what the hell...part of my life*

"Oh no...Don’t say that please...,” That one day made my life miserable. Now I started hating to be a girl. I looked at my Mother as my eyes welled with tears. "Don't be sad...you are turning into a woman...just remember that don't play with guys like you always used to do," She said me.

"Okay but what about the wrestling matches ...," I said with a straight face. "No No...no wrestling...never ever do that ...and yes if this happens again then do inform me..," Mother told me.

But one question that perturbed me was why I shouldn’t interact much with guys. I have slept several sleepless nights thinking over that thing which mother said. I had a strong desire to know what she actually wanted to say. But sadly there was no one to help me out. I asked my friends and none of them knew it. Even my elder sister wasn't with me so that she could help me. I have always been a good child to my mother but sometimes I feel that she is a mystery. I pestered her asking her the reason why I shouldn't play and interact with guys. So finally I decided to find it out myself. I saw a movie where I saw that the hero kisses the actress. It was a romantic scene. The very next scene which I saw showed the couples with a baby. "Oh my ...this is so strange," I said to myself. It was then I realized that when a guy and a girl kiss each other, they get baby. I was afraid of asking my mother as I was already scared as I have asked her over 10 thousand questions related to the same. The next day I cautiously stepped to school. There was a change in my behaviour. I should admit that I have always been a beautiful girl and I have got many followers in form of boys. Senior boys used to follow me like crazy. There was a smart boy in my class who liked me. I liked him too. But I wanted him to say the magical words. I was too young for all this but love never knows any age. But one day out of nowhere he proposed me during a free lecture. All the girls laughed at us. I was completely taken aback and I said yes to him. He was Ricky and 12 years old. Probably he had flunked one class. We started hanging out together. Most of the time we would go for coffee together. It was during our Semester exam that we decided to do our group study. We, a group of 4 girls and guys studied together. Everyone left for home after we studied except Ricky. He looked straight into my eyes. He was tempting me to kiss.
That was the time my mother’s word blared on my mind. “Don't interact with boys.."
 
I never wanted to let her down but I loved him. As he neared to kiss me, the angel popped into my mind with her wings from nowhere and asked me not to do this. I made up my mind and decided not to kiss him. The devil also popped in from nowhere and persuaded me to kiss him. I saw the devil and angel fighting with each other. But finally I kissed him. It was the first kiss of my life. We kissed each other for long time. We paused for a while and kissed again. For a moment we forgot about our Maths exam. We stopped and got back to studies. He smiled at me and later he left.  That night I could not sleep. How could I kiss him?. How on Earth could I kiss him?. Why did I kiss him? .These questions disturbed me. Mother’s words flashed on my mind along with the movie which I saw. 

"Oh my God..," I screamed at the top of my voice. I didn't want to become a mother at 11. May be this was the reason why mother warned me in advance. I believed that kissing can make a girl pregnant. But I never wanted a baby. I was flummoxed and frustrated for the same reason. I quickly rushed into the bathroom and scrubbed my lips with the disinfectant until blood came. My lips became bloody red but still I was afraid. I punched my stomach so that the baby never formed. I punched again and again. It pained me but I was still scared. I went to my room quietly and opened my book but I could not focus on my studies. A baby picture appeared in front of my book. I helplessly threw my book aside and turned on TV. Discovery Channel used to be my favourite TV channel. It showed a program about the formation of baby. I felt like banging my head on the nearest wall. I was actually scared of telling all this to mother but what if she beat me. My mind was infused with thousand thoughts. I perhaps shouldn’t have kissed Ricky. I was of the opinion that he made me pregnant. But I decided to let my mother know. Like a quiet kid, I entered my kitchen. Mom was preparing dinner for us.

“Maa , I need to tell you something serious,” I said with my head facing the floor.
“Tell me sweety...what happened to your lips?,” She asked me.
“Nothing maa..,” I said and left for the main room where my little brother Chandu was playing with his toys. I once again came to kitchen.
“Maa...I think I am pregnant.. I am sorry mother..,” I cried.
“What....,” She was perplexed.
“What are you saying?,” She asked me.
“Mother I kissed Ricky and I think I am pregnant,” I said.
“Did you had sex with him?,” she asked to which I remained silent.
“Did you had sex with him?,” She repeated again. I remained numb. She slapped me. How the hell was I supposed to say something which I never knew. I never knew what sex was. I only knew that my sex was a female.

“Will you open your mouth Idiot?,” she got angry.
“I just kissed him...,” I said. “Oh thank god...you are not pregnant,” She heaved a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank God..,” This time I heaved a sigh of relief.
“Maa, what do you mean by having sex?,” I, like an innocent kid asked her. She explained me everything in details. It was then I realized that I was actually wrong. I would have appreciated her if she had told me before. Women don’t get pregnant by just kissing. The actor and the actress must have done something after that kissed but probably the TV guys didn’t just show that for some reasons. A lots of things happens to a girl when she attains puberty.

 Image Courtesy - Google Images.

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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

For her...

She is a part of one's life and she serves different roles in an individuals life. She is somebody’s daughter,mother,sister,wife and so on. She has many different roles to play in her life. She easily  fulfills all the roles that she is put into. As a mother she takes care of her kids.As a sister ,she guides her siblings and parents in the household work. As a wife ,she performs daily household chores. As a teacher ,she imbues knowledge into her student. Life is a playground for her and she assumes the role of different actress in this movie of life.
 

This post ,I dedicate to the females out here. This goes to the moms,sisters,teachers,girlfriends,female colleagues  and every female out here in blog world. A woman has an important role in a men’s life. She nurtures him since the first minute of his life. She cares for him in form of being a good guardian and monitors him.A mother takes 20 years to make a men out of her boy and it takes just 20 minutes for another woman to make a fool out of him. Such is the impact of life in modern era. It takes  long time to make name and gem of a character but it hardly takes a minute to ruin the good work and the  appreciations. Mother is like the nucleus in an atom. She is like the sun which provides us with light and a source of energy. Maa,as we may call her is someone who is our support structure. For ages I have drenched my pillows with tears missing my mother. I wish she sat next to me and gave me some courageous words. Never mess with a your mother  ,she watches you and knows each minute details about you. This post comes as a dedication to  Woman’s day last month. Sister is like your spine. You never know her worth until she moves away to her husband’s place. That is the day when  you emotionally feel her absence. She is naughty at  times and fights with you everyday and night and makes you know that you have someone who constantly remembers you.
 
Sister makes  you feel that you are not alone in this world and she is always there for you to encourage and motivate you in your hardtimes. Woman have this important role in every men’s life. She should be respected and honored in every aspect of life. Look at her with pride and treat them equally.
Honour every woman you meet in your life. You might not know the worth of each one of them. Never be harsh to your wife. Support her in the good deeds.Teach manners and great values to your daughters. Respect and educate them. Throughout my life I have come across many such females and I have many female rolemodels. I am not attached to my Momma a lot but I can say that she is the best mother one would ever get. I won't say that my sister is the prettiest girl on Earth ,but she is an angel to us. There are little things in life that matters the most.These are the things which  differentiates us. Finally before   winding up ,I dedicate these wonderful lines for my very good friend whom I admire. For some silly cute Idiot friend of mine  who is very kind and yeah she is a woman too.  :)

"Little things you do for me and nobody else makes me feel Good..that's why  I like to sit next to you and share  my mad stories which I know that are not true"

PPS: I'm not promoting Vodafone :P but i do use a Vodafone though

This goes to all females out here.... \m/

Saturday, July 31, 2010

214.The Little Girl

Last year I was going through one of the worst phase of my life.I felt that I had actually ruined my life by doing certain things which actually deviated me from my path. Advices and Lectures were something that I used to hate since I was young. I never spoke much to my parents and started hating my friends.


My dee lives in Texas with her husband.She invited me to the states so that I could get rid of all kind of tensions and anxieties.
I went to drop my nephew to his school.Auroville is amongst the best known school in that particular location where my sister lived with her family.After leaving Shayan to school I was walking along the streets.My eyes captured the view of a young beautiful girl of around 12 years old.I sat next to her.She was actually watching her friends family.Her friend was accompanied by her parents and a tear rolled down her cheeks as she saw her friend with her mom and dad.For a moment I'd thought that she was sad for some reasons.I opened a conversation with her.


Me:Hey little girl! Howdy? Whats your name?
Girl: Lillian Manson.
Me:Nice name you've got.
She wiped the tears from her face and gave me a smile.
Girl:Thanks!
Me:Why were you crying just a while ago?
Girl:No,I didn't
Me:Don't lie Lillian.You did cry after seeing your friend with her parents.Tell me why?
Girl:I wish I had a mom and dad like her.May be I'm not lucky for that.
Me:Oh Sorry!
Girl:Don't be..
Me:What happened to your parents and with whom do you live?
Girl:I don't know who my dad is and my mother works at night.I live with my grandma and grandpa
Me:Your mom works at night?
Girl:Yes,my mom is a whore *tear drops run through her alluring cheeks*
Me:Oh don't be sad,you have your grandparents with you....be happy for that..there are many who don't have anyone to look after them.

We then happened to talk for few hours and later on she realized that she was lucky enough to have some one to talk care of her.But after meeting her,I realized the worth of my parents.Obviously parents are the biggest asset of any human being and they are the support structure too.You might not know that sometimes little words may tend to hurt them.There are others who miss their parents like the girl whom I met.We have our biggest asset with us.Why not cherish our life with them and make life blissful.I hope to be back soon.Now leaving for New Delhi.Hope to see you soon. :)